Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

mother in law

ok, so i have a mother in law who thinks she knows everything about my son, even though she only saw him about 3 time within 6 months, we moved closer to her and now she comes over and tells me how to rasie my son, what to feed him, how to change him, why he is crying blah blah blah. i know she is trying to help but i dont need help and if i do then i would ask. she is bugging. how do others deal with this.

Answer Question

Asked by DilsMommy at 2:29 PM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 13 (1,035 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • My mil is that way and I have told her point blank "Although I appreciate you trying to help this is my child and my home and I will do things my way, just like you do things your way in your home and I would never think to come to your home and tell you how to raise your child or run your home". She can either accept it or cut her off for awhile until she GETS it.

    Answer by gemgem at 2:32 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I moved no really, i prayed the army would move us away, and thankfully we moved 6 weeks after he was born. those 6 weeks, omg i thought i was going to crack. thankfully dh wasn't going to work as much, since we had to pack, so if she was getting on my nerves all i had to do was give dh "the look" and he would send her away. thankfully i have an understanding dh!

    Answer by armywife43 at 2:33 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • It's so hard to deal with mother in laws. I think you just have to be patient with them. Very calmly tell them you appreciate their advice. Or have your husband talk to her, have him say when we need help we will ask for it but thanks. But I can totally understand how frustrating it is to be trying to learn about your baby and have someone come swoop in and tell you what you should be doing. You'd think as a mother her self she would understand to sit back and let you try to figure it out.


    Answer by MyBoyAndrew at 2:34 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • You just sit her down and talk to her. You might hurt her feeling at first but if you explain to her how you feel. She might just understand.


    Answer by louise2 at 2:37 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I understand too well. The other day, my MIL was here and I was putting dd in her crib. Well, she comes up with me and says "be careful, put her in the middle" . . . my daughter was born in July. I think I've figured out how to put her in the crib. And anyone with half a brain knows to put the baby in the center. In july, she would ask why the baby wasn't wearing a hat???? Sorry, I don't want to give her heat stroke. She is from a South American country, and they are very superstitious. She bought this bracelet set, one for the wrist and one for the ankle. A red string thing with beads and said that it would keep the baby from getting sick from people staring at her??? WHAT?? I said No, that is a choking hazard. MIL can be so nutty, older people for that matter . . . lol

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 2:41 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • i probably should be more blunt with my MIL, but i don't want to tick off my hubby. so i listen and nod and then do what i was going to do anyway! it seems to me that it doesn't matter if i actually do what she tells me to, but that i listen and act as though i'm actually considering her advice.

    Answer by rachelsmommy78 at 2:43 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Listen and nod - that is EXACTLY the advice I would give.

    Dude, unless she's nutso, she thinks she is helping.

    I'm not a huge fan of disrespecting your elders - what's the harm as long as you take it for what it's worth - she's trying to share with you the way she raised (or wished she raised) her son.

    So get over yourself and you MIGHT learn something.


    Answer by Wimsey at 2:50 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • well i am so glad to hear others feel the same as me. she has told me she is just giving me advice i could take it or leave it she just wants me to hear it. my husband is such a mommys boy but he also feels like she thinks we can do anything right. she is trying to feed him thing i dont feel a 7months should eat like pizza in a blender, im sorry but i dont think so. ugh....i know she means well. sorry i could go on and on

    Answer by DilsMommy at 2:51 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Ok - pizza in a blender?


    That would be the "listening and nodding" part combined with the NO WAY IN H*LL part.

    Answer by Wimsey at 2:52 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • So get over yourself and you MIGHT learn something.>>>>Wimsey . . . I think that was pretty rude. She asked for advice not your rude comments, People on here never cease to amaze me.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 2:59 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.