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Some encouraging words would be fabulous... How do you all make it without a man around?

I'm a single mom. Its been 9 months since my ex left and I am recovering beautifully but I do struggle. I have my moments of doubt and loneliness. I feel like I will never make it to the other side... I have no job. I'm living with my grandparents. I want my own life. I'm sick of living with family and not being able to do it all by myself.

Whats your advice? (Encouraging words) Help!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Mar. 16, 2011 in Money & Work

Answers (14)
  • Nothing worth having EVER comes easily. So far it sounds like your on the right track. Know this. You CAN do ANYTHING you set your mind and will to. That included a job and a life. It takes hard work, and lots of sacrifices but it is being done but LOTS of women much further down on their luck than you. Stay positive, do what it takes to get a job, lean on the family that you can and accept their help with child care so you can work, even a midnight job at a gas station.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 2:29 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I am so thankful to have a life without my son's dad in it now (it's been a year), but I have yet to learn how to take care of myself. I never realized how dependent i was on him while we were together..but I couldn't do ANYTHING for myself. Now I'm capable of so many things (thanks to my best friend/roommate pushing me to grow up), but financially and mentally, I'm...stuck.
    It's not an easy thing to get past, learning how to do things and be happy with the way your life is... but we're all more than capable of it, I think.
    Good luck to you!
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 2:31 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Well, you should be getting child support from your child's father. There is the state who can help you pay for childcare, school,etc. so that you can support yourself & your child. If your grandparents are willing to help out you can get a job and or go back to school,as well.
    sarchasmicangel

    Answer by sarchasmicangel at 2:31 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • There are lots of great tips in the  CafeMom Job Hunting Moms group:  http://www.cafemom.com/group/102837

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:45 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Don't be afraid to get public assistance while you get back on your feet. That is what it is there for. I ended up a single mom and got on public assistance and went back to college so I could make a good life for my son and I. It enabled me to be able to get a good job where I could support myself and my child and have a good quality of life, and it was also a very good experience for me and expanded my worldview as well as my earning potential.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:47 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • 4 years ago when my ex husband left, my daughter was 1, I was in school, and had been a stay at home mom for the last year. I had to move back in with my parents and at the time my mother would not even speak to me. You will go to bed every night and cry just because you don't know how you are going to make it one more second with out him. But you know what? One day you will wake up and just get pissed off- so pissed in fact that you will want to prove to him and the world that you don't need him. You will work until you sweat and your fingers bleed. You will go weeks with only 2 and 3 hours of sleep a night because you want to make sure that the time you are not working is spent with your little one. You will come to forget how and why you could ever think that you needed him in the first place. One day you will be sitting on the front porch or the house that YOU BOUGHT by yourself, smiling. You will make it, Mama!
    BriHan06

    Answer by BriHan06 at 3:03 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • yes you will struggle without the man but you will be better for it and so will your child(ren). its never easy. its hard when you dont' have a job and living with family. the only thing i can tell you is of course find a job and save up to move out. but again you will struggle, but at least your bills are paid and so long as you have food on the table and roof over your heads you should be fine. my situation i've always worked, even when my kids were little, as soon as my 6 weeks after giving birth were up i went to work and now my kids, 19 and 18, see how hard we struggle but they appreciate it as well.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 3:15 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Girl when you have em you just wish you were single and vice versa. You can't win.
    KoolMom617

    Answer by KoolMom617 at 3:21 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Think of it like this- it's like when you were a kid and you rode your bike and you came to a big hill and fought and fought to get to the top, but once you got to the top, it was this amazing soaring feeling when you started on your way down, hair flying and wind blowing against your cheeks. You just have to fight to get over this hill- then you get to coast for a while :)
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 3:28 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Know in yourself that you don't need a man. Anything a man can do you can do, if not better. Focus on your children and do what will make them happiest. Do you want to find a good job outside of the home or at home? Believe in yourself and you will be fine.
    Number.1.Mom

    Answer by Number.1.Mom at 7:12 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

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