Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

He thinks he doesn't have to apologize?! (long)

Recently our direct tv bill doubled out of nowhere. So today, we put my son down for a nap. He will sit in the crib and talk to his toys until he falls asleep. Of, course, the second he quiets down, my husband goes into his room to move the fan into the doorway after I told him "Don't go in there. He isn't asleep yet." But what do I know? I only put him to bed four nights a week while you're at work. How could I possibly know his sleeping schedule better than you?So our son then thinks it's time to get out because daddy came in and when daddy doesn't take him out of the crib he starts to cry. Well we ignore it because he'll only cry for about five minutes before he figures out he wasn't forgotten it's still nap time.

So my husband goes into the Kitchen to call the company and find out what's going on. He is told the rates have gone up for everyone and a cancellation fee is $200. He flips out on the guy and hangs up, walks into the living room and hears our now quiet son talking to his toys again.

Apparently this set him off too because he storms into our 2 YEAR OLD's room and proceeds to scream at the top of his lungs "GO TO BED! GO TO BED NOW! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! JUST GO TO F***IN' SLEEP!" That don't fly with mama one bit. He came back into the living room and I yelled at him and told him that was completely unnecessary and flat wrong no matter what happened or what mood he's in. He proceeds to tell me "Well if it's not them it's him! And if it's not him, it's you! I just can't catch a f***in' break!"

EXCUSE ME?! This was it for me. I went into our room, called my mother, put two extra pairs of clothes for both of us in a duffel bag, and took our "terrible son" with me to stay at my mother's for the night, telling him I'm sorry we're such a burden on him and he won't have to worry about it anymore. Of course, I don't mean this.

This is the first time he's ever gone off the handle but it was so severe that I was not going to give him even a smidgeon of room to think he could get away with that. I'm not going to divorce him unless this becomes a regular thing but I've made it abundantly clear that we are not coming home until he apologizes. He's called my mom's house several times and I've gotten "You know I love you guys," "I didn't mean it," "I didn't mean it that way," "Why don't I make dinner instead," and everything else and every time I tell him what I want to hear and he doesn't say those two simple words. 

But what would you do? Why should he not be held accountable for his words because he "didn't mean it" and "he'll make dinner"? We have never cursed at each other or our son EVER and I feel this is inexcusable. There's no "making up for it" there is only apologizing and watching your temper better. What do you think ladies?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Mar. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • i agree he needs to apologize and mean it. you do not speak to children that way, let alone a 2 year old, regardless of what a shitty mood you might be in. he must think you are easily controlled and trying to manipulate you by kissing your ass to get you to come back. stick to your guns and make sure he owns up to the mistakes he's made! i'm glad you're not making it easy on him. good for you momma!
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:21 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • You tell him hes getting closer but hasnt said the words you want to hear. Make him figure it out.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:24 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I agree he should apologize and you should not go home until he does.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:26 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • That is terrible. I would never let my dh speak to our daughter that way. Or anyone else for that matter. He needs to apologize and never act like that again. I mean does he really want his son to grow up and act like that too.
    Hatsumomo

    Answer by Hatsumomo at 3:27 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I think you did the right thing, and he should apologize before you go home.
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 3:31 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Quoting hubby:"I just can't catch a f***in' break!"

    Welcome to REAL LIFE, buster. You NEVER get to catch a break.

    OP, you are VERY correct to stick to your guns.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:44 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • He should apologize to you and your son. I mean we all lose it some times its just a matter of walking away before it gets bad. Apparently he didnt walk away, I have yelled at my children and if I feel Id gone to far I do so sorry and own up to it. I however have never cursed at them. I dont think staying away is the answer, maybe if you were to go home and talk it out with him it would be easier for him to look at you and say the words you want to hear.
    katcb1019

    Answer by katcb1019 at 3:45 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • maybe you should stay there for a few days to clear your heads. He may never apologize like you want him too, but sounds like a big time outburst to have at a little kid to me.
    could be a bad sign. something to think about and work on.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:04 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • OP - I think you did the right thing.
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 4:27 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • clappingWAY TO GO MAMA!!!! He was totally unexcusable. Good for you for standing up to him for you & your son.

    rebel07

    Answer by rebel07 at 4:35 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.