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4 Bumps

What am I doing with my life

I feel like my life is a disaster, and im letting everyone down, I am going to be 34 soon, Im not a kid and even if I was that went out the window 14 years ago when I had Jay. My parents moved to this country just prior to having me, they moved here from vietnam, they were very strict and we were very poor. I was very rebelious, I had my son at 19, i never got married, or had a real job. I model Part time, use to be a lot more, no im getting older and thats getting less, besides that I bar tend, and yes the money is excellent, the down side is one of my bartending gigs is at a bikini bar in NYC, and the other one is at a posh night club, where I also have to dress like a slut. I work 4 days or should I say nights a week. I am daating a guy 6 years younger than me, he seems to like me but who knows. Bartending usuaully brings me in about $1200 a week the 4 nights I work, which is good its all cash, so im not broke, I provide for my son and financialy, and i think I do a great job emotionaly and spiritually wit him. I am a 33 year old bartender, that has to wear a bikini or a mini skirt to pay the bills, this is not why moe parents moved to this country and not why I moved to NY the land of oppurtnity, am I setting a bad example for my son?

Answer Question

Asked by lilaZian7s at 6:41 PM on Mar. 16, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Youre doing what you have to do to raise him. Theres no shame in that. I had a friend who was the same age and started taking online classes and got a degree that way.

    Answer by gemgem at 6:46 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • There's no shame in Honest work. The only way you would be setting a bad example is if you were doing stuff you weren't supposed to be doing as a mother in front of him.... You can hold jobs like these and still have morals. You have to do what you have to do to make ends meet.

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 6:49 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • You're a good mom. 34 is not that old, once your son goes to school maybe you can too. I didn't go back to college until I was 29.

    Answer by onethentwins at 6:57 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • It is time to start thinking about the future. Have you planned for your retirement, or your son's college education? What do you see yourself doing in ten years? It may be time for you to go back to school, and start a new career.

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:50 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • You are doing what you need to do to raise and support your son. Being your age though, those kinds of job aren't going to be available for taking forever. It may be a good time to invest in something new, schooling or something.

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 10:33 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I don't think that you are setting a bad example for your son as long as you are there for him and not bringing the stuff from that world with you... aka guys that dont' show you respect,.. especially in front of him, and as long as you take care of him, you should be fine, for now... but I wouldn't be counting on having those kind of jobs forever... the older you get the higher the chance that you might not be able to work there increases... but best of luck! Maybe try going back to school on the side? I would suggest something that will forever be in demand.... nursing maybe?

    Answer by momof2redhedz at 11:31 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I wish I could have your job. I have no job. You are very fortunate to have so much money, and your son is very fortunate to have a mother who loves him. Those things alone are things that some people dont have! I think you are doing fine. Try to do more things in your life for yourself though. Maybe you need counseling, a better boyfriend, to go back to school. Whatever will raise your self- esteem...which sounds like the real problem.

    Answer by amber710 at 1:17 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • No your not. You are doing what you got to do to support your son.

    Answer by LiLJeni at 6:11 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • A wonderful JOB~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You are taking care of what comes first your family, now work on what you need to feel better about your self. Set some goals to succeed, in the mean time save money.... So you have a little cushion and can do something you are so proud of...

    Your not doing a bad thing, but you don't want to do that for the rest of your life...

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:06 AM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • You're not a bad mom! Start writing down careers that interest you. Research the career that you want (salary, advancement, longevity, etc.) Take online courses or enroll in a school taking only the amount of classes that you can handle.Set a goal and try to reach it; always remember that you are a smart, confident woman who can do anything!!

    Answer by Alexias30 at 11:15 AM on Mar. 18, 2011

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