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3 Bumps

Is something wrong with this picture?

Okay...so my husbands daughters mother (I hate the phrase baby's mama) has gone to child support and is requesting more money (we got the letter from child support yesterday) as of right now Richie is paying her $500 a month. I guess she's requesting $200 more.

Okay....I don't have a problem with America (that's her name) asking for more money, she has a child with him and it is his responsibility to take care of his child, what is bugging me is that America has not allowed Rich to see his daughter in almost a year now...the last time we seen her was at our wedding last June. Rich will call her and ask if he can see her, his mother will call and ask if we can see her, his brother will call and ask if we can see her...nothing, she either says yes and that she will call later and then no one will hear from her for weeks, her phone will just ring and ring and on several occasions has been cut off completly or she will tell us flat out no. On the times that she's told us no it has been because Richie didnt give her any additional money...she asked him to buy Mazzy (his daughter, age 8) some school clothes and backpack, ect....well he just didnt have the money at the time so she texts him and tells him how lame he is and how he won't EVER see Mazzy again, how he doesnt do shit for her and all this other stuff....I don't understand why she can say all this but she won't let him see Mazzy ever!

Is something wrong with this picture? Is there something we can do? He's going to court next month to ask for joint custody but it seems like she shouldnt be able to do this.

 
Lucky209

Asked by Lucky209 at 7:10 PM on Mar. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 28 (35,060 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I have a step son so, I understand how frustrating it can be to deal with this type of problem. I think there is definately wrong with the picture. Unless the court has ordered your husband to stay away from his daughter then she should have no right to stop them from seeing each other. Especially if he is paying support and doing his part, then his ex should respect that and she should respect her own child enough to let them see each other. I am not an expert in the whole area of the laws, but I would definately have the issue addressed in court. I hope that things will be resolved to where everyone can be happy, especially the child. What child would not want to have time with both parents ??
    Kelly502

    Answer by Kelly502 at 7:18 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Unfortunately child support and visitation are two entirely unrelated subjects.... All he can do is go to court and figure out a custody agreement. I think it's wrong of her to basically use his daughter to blackmail him, but legally, there's nothing you can do unless a visitation schedule is on the record.... Good luck!
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 7:16 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I'm so sorry.... honestly you need to talk to a lawyer... most of the time they side on the mothers side though... GL!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 7:20 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • for now he needs to talk to his lawyer and right everything down or tape everthing when she calls this will help in court
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 7:21 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Very wrong and very sad. If they have a custody agreement he needs to make her follow it, if she doesn't hold her in contempt. Here, if she is found in contempt you can ask that she pays his legal fees. I bet she wouldn't want that. If you don't have a custody agreement, get a lawyer, fathers have rights too. He looks bad going a whole year without an effort to see his DD, I can't imagine what his daughter thinks of him at this point.
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 7:23 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I've got three words for you................ON THE RECORD. If it isn't in the court file then it isn't gonna happen and posters are right- visitation and support on different issues. What you describe is awful behavior. Get a custody, visitation agreement and if she doesn't stick to it take her to court - that is the ONLY way too deal with someone like this. That visitation agreement should be very detailed down to where and when she will be picked up (i.e. meeting at McDonalds a common location or whatever). If something is left "to discretion" you can bet the offending party will use it every single time they can. I agree with previous poster camiam81 - HE looks bad because there is no proof he's tried to see her. Get a lawyer and fight for this. *rant*
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 7:42 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Is by any chance your name Jessica? haha jw.. I was reading this & my husbands name is Richie, and our wedding was last June too. Kinda cool.
    Anyways, I think when you go to court for it, he should tell them she wont let him see his daughter. Get a copy of the texts if you can too, that would help a lot, for them to see she threatens him with seeing her. I think she sounds like a nut personally, lol. Sounds to me like he does a lot for his kids, and she thinks she can con more money out of him by holding his kids against him. I hate it when women do that, it doesnt only hurt the dad, but the kids too. I hope you can get this straightened out, GL!
    Jessica1991

    Answer by Jessica1991 at 7:50 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Document everything!!! All the receipts from if/when he buy stuff for her...its not just up to him to provide for your sd, it's up to the mom too and it doesn't seem she wants to from what you posted..what he's paying is more than fair, unless he makes very good money (and she's taking him back to court bc of that) which still doesn't seem fair...you and he need to take her to court and get the mandated visitation/his right enforced...there's obviously no relationshipbetween dh and the ex so there's nothing to ruin...if he already has the visitation rights set up, he needs to get the police or someone involved bc he has every right to see his dd...that or he could refuse to pay until he starts seeing dd again,,lol just kidding...he needs to get his time with the child, whether it's enforced or needs to be enforced by the court..good luck!
    mom_to_kenzie

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 8:06 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • LOL @Jessica1991....wouldnt that be funny if my name really WAS Jessica? lol

    I kind of think that she's bitter about me and him getting married...she sent him a text a couple of weeks ago that said "If you want a daughter you better have one with your new wife cuz you will NEVER see Mazzy again
    Lucky209

    Comment by Lucky209 (original poster) at 8:31 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • When she goes for more child support, he needs to go in and see about visitation. Let the judge know that your step-daughter's mom will not let you guys see her because she is upset that you got married. Good luck.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 9:26 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

Next question in Relationships
So sad:(

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