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2 Bumps

Single mother with sole custody?

I am a single mom to my 3 yr old daughter. Its tough but I love every minute of it. I have no help with anything and do everything all alone as far as finances for my daughter. Like the question states I have sole physical and legal custody of my daughter and her father has visitations (which is fails to follow). Well whenever we go to court or if I go seek assistance or in consults with attorneys I am always asked why dont I file for child support. I dont want to file for child support as I am doing ok financially. My other reason for not wanting to file for child support is because I read that if he starts paying he will automatically have partial legal custody of my daughter. At a consult with an attorney yesterday I was told that is not true....which is true from experience?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:10 PM on Mar. 16, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • If you have everything legal already, taking him for child support won't change it.
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 7:15 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Nope, getting child support won't make any changes to the custody situation, two entirely different things. As for filing... I would. Even if you don't really need it, he has an obligation to contribute. Put the money into a savings account for her, if you don't want to spend it. Either way, don't look at it as money for YOU, it's money for HER.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 7:28 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • thats a shame. he is her father and has rights too.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 7:34 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • kkbird whats a shame? The first time I did file for child support he called DCF, children at risk agencies call the cops and made false accusations taht were all closed out and told his mother that he could murder me if he wanted to. Then started a custody battle which the judge denied. That is the true backstory. If I am well off why go through that for $20 a month. Its a shame and he has rights. he filed for vistitaion and NEVER shows up and NEVER contrinuted to anything relating to my daughter. ITs a shame allright
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:46 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • He can still file for custody whether or not you request child support.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • its the same with my son and went to court for childsupport and the judge even told me that he had NO rights because we had not gone to court for custody or anything like that
    goobersmom713

    Answer by goobersmom713 at 9:29 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • It differs from state to state, you say he has visitation so technically he already has partial custody rights because he is responsible for your child during his visitations, if he chose to visit her, you having sole custody does not deny his parental rights. The only way for one parent to have no rights, custodial or otherwise, is to prove the parent is incompetent and have his/her rights terminated by the court or the court could terminate rights based on abandonment as well. Like I said its different depending on where you live, I'm just stating how things work where I live. It may be different for you. Where I live having shared custody basically just means both parents are entitled to equal time with the child and when the child turns 12 he/she may choose which parent he/she lives with. For example having sole custody of my kids just means my ex only gets them during his visits, and they live with me until they're 18.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Oh also not filing for child support where I live isn't an option, even if you don't want child support the judge will order it. And if my ex doesn't pay child support I can deny visitation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • no I just mean that its a shame that for the kids sake that one or both try to hurt the other "parent" ( NOT SAYING YOU R DOING THIS) just in general. That we have so much hate/hurt that alot of times its the children who suffer the most. meaning still seeing both parents or money support.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 12:41 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • You should file for child support, and save the money for your daughter's college education
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:50 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

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