Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

I have a 10 year old daughter whose attitude is getting worse and worse and i mean beyond regular attitude for her age how can i get her to stop?

Se is very hateful to everyone including herself,throws tantrums all the time yells and screams threatens to kill herself and runaway all the at my wits end and dont know what to do any more please help me

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:46 PM on Mar. 16, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (12)
  • Oh my gosh, I am in the same boat. What is going on with kids. Let me know if you get a good answer. I am the question - I HAVE A 10 YEAR OLD WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HER FATHER. As with you, it is getting worse. Geez.

    Answer by pleasantmom1000 at 7:50 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • i remember when i was a kid i would never of thought of talking to adults or treating people the way kids do now i hate to say it but i think alot of it has to do with the fact that we are scared as parents this day and age to do anything about their behavior because of dcfs....i dont touch my kids and they still say they are going to call them on me ....everyone now a days is shoving dcfs down every childs throat to the point that they are starting to think they can call them if we dont give them everything they ever want

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:57 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Think you should get her into therapy. Don't think she is too young. She obviously is having problems. I wouldn't wait. If she does not learn how to control her emotions soon, things will go down hill.

    You should probably seek therapy also, for support in handling her.

    I have a 26 year old daughter who has been in therapy for several years now, maybe if I had taken her in earlier, instead of thinking that she'd grow out of it, she wouldn't need so much help.

    Answer by tsinj at 8:16 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I'd suggest therapy, her behavior seems to be escalating and if she's talking about killing herself that shouldn't be taken lightly. It could be a number of things going on with her, but thoughts of suicide are usually brought on by depression or anger. It's hard to see those things in children and tell the difference between typical behavior for that age, or something more. As a kid, I would throw things, break things, cut things, scratch myself until I'd bleed, scream/yell, runaway and threaten suicide, even sit in my room with bottles of aspirin and scissors thinking about how to do it, it started around 10. I was angry and unhappy and no one noticed or cared, I felt that way for a very long time I thenI learned how to escape through sex and drinking. Punishment didn't work because it never took away the feelings just increased the anger and depression. I was diagnosed with Bipolar at 34, my behavior was not normal.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 8:49 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Definitely don't take her behavior lightly, it may be she doesn't know how to express her feelings because she doesn't understand them herself. A lot of the time I was simply out of control, and didn't know how to reign it in. I didn't know how to cope when I was angry or when I felt hurt and unloved. It just triggered these feelings that were very overwhelming and uncontrollable. No amount of punishment was going to fix that. From reading your post it sounds similar, I'm not suggesting your daughter could be bipolar, just that there may be a lot more to this than hormones and age.
    I hope you're able to help her. Hang in there!

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 9:06 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I think it is normall for a 10 year old, although don't back down. Hormones come into play much sooner these days.

    Answer by jivy1111 at 9:36 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I would stand up to her. Give her some structure!!!! Limit or take TV away completely...Watch what she wears..
    You are still the boss in your house!!!!!! There should be consequences to bad behavior...and rewards for good....If kids ever call CPS on you...since you never have touched them they will not have a leg to stand on...
    I taught 10 year olds..They will test and as many, kids will try to break you down...As much as I wanted my kids to like me...I also had the wisdom to internally know that I had to remain tough as nails or they would walk all over me...
    Put what you want in writing...maybe a poster of steps what will happen if they break your set-up rules...
    Sometimes saying it is NOT enough. Kids have to see it in writing...Have a bag of tricks that work with your child.You might have to change up your tactics, but not your consistency.
    Listen to threats of suicide and running way...Take them seriously..Be safe...

    Answer by VeronicaTex at 9:58 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • It sounds like she may need counseling. But if it only happens when she wants something, she doesn't need counseling, she needs to know that she can't have everything she wants.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:58 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • I have been going through this for years, my daughter is now 15. The best thing you can do for her is get her help, if you don't it will only get worst trust me it does not get any better. Right now you have more control, when they are your size it does not work anymore.

    If you want to chat I can give you tips... My daughter was diagnosed with add, she is finally getting the help she needs. My daughter was the same exact way, I thought it was me, but now I realize, it was on going since she was young but I never caught on to it. :)

    You must eliminate every possibility because she might not be able to control it. :) Good luck!!!! Therapy, pysicoligical evaluation, and you need therapy to deal with it.... Help is out here sometimes it is just harder to fine. NIp it in the bud.

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:46 AM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I'm concerned with her saying that she wants to kill herself. If you haven't done so already you should get some professional help for her and do a risk assessment. At this age sometimes they are just repeating wht they have heard someone else say and they often don't mean it, but there are times when they are serious and this is a cry for help. She is obviously angry about something and you should try to find out what it is by asking a professional to help. You may want to look first at her school counselor and then see if they recommend outside help. It's hard sometimes as parents to accept that our kids may have some underlying issues that are out of our control, but you still want to do what is in the best interest of your family. Good luck.

    Answer by Crimsonpope31 at 10:03 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.