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How do you teach kids to appreciate? I

'm a new stepmom to 8 and 10 year old. Everything is just expected from them, they don't have to earn anything, and never stop asking for stuff. Thanks!

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Asked by daklex at 11:34 AM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (4)
  • Well... since 9/10s of parenting is demonstrating an appropriate role model, the simplest way is to be grateful. Thank them for what they do, appreciate it when they are careful, thoughtful, generous, or anything else you expect and take for granted when it appears, or criticize when it's absent. Children who are not appreciated are unlikely to experience the value of gratitude themselves, and highly unlikely to demonstrate it toward others.

    Remember that saying 'I want that' is not the same as asking for stuff. There are lots of things to want, and our media is awash in cool looking stuff... Just saying 'I want' doesn't necessarily mean 'I expect to get' or even 'I genuinely desire that' -- just, well, an immature expression of appreciation: I like the look of that.

    "There sure is a lot of stuff to want," is a fine answer to the constant requests... Of course it has to be coupled with not actually giving them everything they notice in passing...

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:59 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Stay consistant. My stepkids used to be the same way. My DF and his ex-wife were constantly going back and forth buying the kids things to "win" their love. Sadly all they got was two very spoiled little boys. I just found that being consistent with my expectations and discipline has caused them to appreciate me and the things they get and get to do a lot more.

    Answer by HeatherTurner at 12:07 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I have found that when kids do have to earn the things they want or they have to help pay for it even though it may only be a small portion they will appreciate and cherish it more. Make fun but helpful ways that they may be able to earn say a dollar or so that way they have money.

    Answer by Mrs.Tate at 3:32 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Bring them to a homeless shelter or have them do something that has nothing to do with themselves.

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 10:32 AM on Jun. 27, 2008

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