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HAVE YOU BEEN CUT OFF BY YOUR ADULT SON OR DAUGHTER?

IF YOU WERE CUT OFF BY A SON OR DAUGHTER DO YOU KNOW WHY?
HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOUR LAST COMMUNICATION?
DO YOU AGREE WITH THEIR DECISION TO NEVER SEE OR HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN? DOES TIME HEAL, OR WILL YOU WAIT FOREVER?
HOW DO YOU COPE? WHAT HAVE YOU TRIED TO GET THEM BACK?

ADD ANYTHING ELSE PERTAINING TO THIS TOPIC QUESTION...IT WILL BE MOST HELPFUL. THANK YOU. csjoy1

Answer Question
 
csjoy1

Asked by csjoy1 at 9:05 PM on Mar. 16, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 10 (450 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • My daughter decided that she no longer wants or needs me,DH or her little brother in her life. She never really said why, but I think it's because of my son's autism, and her lack of interest in learning about it. I haven't seen her in about 6 months, and yes it does hurt, but I figure that she's an adult now, and there's no reason for me to push her into a relationship she doesn't want. Besides, DH and son don't need the drama and neither do I.
    Robsmommy

    Answer by Robsmommy at 9:40 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • How about adding another question-

    "what happened between you so that they longer want a relationship with you?"


    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:51 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Like 5BabyBees, I cut my mother out of my life. I would hope she knows why, but honestly I am sure that in her messed up little mind, I'm just a bitch and she is a victim. Because, of course, everyone in the world is wrong except her, always, and everyone is out to get her.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 9:57 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • My daughter decided to cut her entire family out at 18. I can tell you that is it is not easy. No relationship comes without problems and no relationship is perfect. My family has gotten closer because of this, my sister is more understanding of her own kids, my son and I have reached a place of more trust, his girlfriend and I have bonded thru this process. All I can do is hope and pray, keep busy even if at time it hurts. It has now been 1 month . She nows lives with her "new family". She gave up college, her car, her family love because she needs to make it on her own. Everyone will say she will be back just give it time. But I keep thinking how can she return when she knows how much hurt she has given us. It will be a long time and a lot of understanding on all sides before things can get back to normal but always remembering that they will never be the same. Good luck from someone who is knows how you feel.
    Rosivick

    Answer by Rosivick at 8:34 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • I am in a continual struggle with my 18 yr old daughter. She's mad at the world, me and I just don't understand it. She lives in a nice home, I'm an understanding loving mother but I have rules which she seems hell bent on not following. REASONABLE rules might I add. She just pushes and pushes to start fights. She moved out about a month ago for about a week and I let her come home but she didn't learn a thing being out, my mother stuck her nose in and made it worse, stirred the pot so I am now not speaking to my mother. It's just a mess. It's a hard horrible thing to go through. I just hoping that she'll eventually grow out of it. She is a stubborn kid who has to do things her way and that is it - she won't listen to reason. Wish I had some magic advice but every situation is different. I will always love her but that doesn't mean I have to enable her to act in a destructive way and treat me disrespectfully.
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 2:01 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • So I guess to summarize what I said yesterday, you just go on day by day. You know that you love them and have done the best you could. Mine is leaving again and I'm not sure I want her to come back, sometimes they just have to learn the hard way and I refuse to live the life we are living with her in the house. I wanted to share what I am going through to let you know you are not alone but it just doesn't get easier. You live with it best you can.
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 4:52 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • I APPRECIATE EVERYONE'S FEEDBACK....FOR SURE IT'S NOT EASY, AND THERE IS NO ONE THAT IS RIGHT. HOWEVER, WHEN AN ADULT CHILD (I SAY CHILD, BECAUSE THEY STILL ACT LIKE KIDS, BUT WANT US TO REFER TO THEM AS ADULT...LOL) REFUSES TO MEET IN MIDDLE GROUND, AND THEY HAVE THEIR SELF CENTERNESS, AND PREFER TO PUT ALL THE BLAME ON THE PARENT, THEN HEY...I'M A PARENT, NOT A DISH RAG. I HAVE A HEART...AND AM WILLING TO MEET AND DISCUSS THESE ISSUES IN ORDER TO MAKE PROGRESS. BUT WHEN THE ADULT CHILD DISMISSES THE PARENT WHO IS WILLING TO ADMIT THEY ARE NOT PERFECT AND WANT TO WORK IT OUT....THEN IT'S OUT WITH THEM....PUT UP THE TOUGH WALLS UP AND LET THEM COME BACK WHEN THEY ARE READY!!! csjoy1...
    csjoy1

    Comment by csjoy1 (original poster) at 8:30 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • As a parent of 4 grown children, I believe we have to have boundaries and open doors. Boundaries to keep our children from walking on us and treating us like doormats, but open doors to our hearts so that they know they can depend on us when they really need it. It is a balancing act. I think parenting adult children is much tougher than parenting young children. I believe this because the consequences of their actions can be so much more serious and long lasting. I think that you are doing the right thing by trying to find a middle ground and work things out. So you have an open door. I would let them find their way to it, when they are ready.
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 2:38 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

  • I think all teens and young adult kids, blame everything on the parent. Its easier to blame someone else for their mistakes than themselves.
    koolmom343

    Answer by koolmom343 at 12:38 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

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