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Have you had a friend who cheated on her husband

I have had two close friends who cheated on their husbands ( long term affairs) and they justified it with all sorts of answers, I got married too young, there's no intimacy in my marriage, what I want has changed .... then they get snippy when I am not supportive of it and tell me I'm judgmental... I wonder how others have dealt with it. In the end the first friendship dwindled and the second one is on its last legs. I find it hard to be friends with someone who doesn't honor their marriage vows. I also don't think it is possible to not judge - isn't that how we decide who we spend time with, trust with our kids etc...?

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myheartx4

Asked by myheartx4 at 10:54 PM on Mar. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,675 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • If you can't accept them as they are then it's time to cut the ties.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • It would probably make me physically sick to be around someone who justifies that kind of behavior. Seriously, just get a divorce if your so unhappy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Yes. I agree that some may go through some emotional things that they think justifies their cheating. Like intimacy problems or feeling like they don't get enough attention. No matter the excuse, its not right but I see it more and more everyday.
    Amykay78

    Answer by Amykay78 at 11:00 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Here's the issue, we're human. People change. They make decisions... blah blah blah... whatever. If I constantly concentrated on other people's morals relationship wise, I'd be bat crazy! When it comes to situations, where I don't agree with my friend's actions, I just ask myself: "Do I like my friend as a person?" "What kind of "friend" has she been to me?".


     


    Misunderstanding and judging actions as well as choices, that we may never act out, because of our morals can be tricky for a friendship. I don't agree with what your friends are doing and I don't think they should've given you crap, for not supporting something you don't agree with. Again, we're human. I guess it's hard to keep some respect going, when they're taking part in something that disrespects a sacred union. I hope this makes

    LanaisSky96

    Answer by LanaisSky96 at 11:13 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I too would put distance between the friendship(s). I try not to put myself around others who do things I DON'T AGREE WITH. It's wrong on so many levels ( unless they have an understanding between them) and then I still wouldn't want to be BFF's... still keeping the distance. I wouldnt want others, and hubby thinking OH WELL, SHE hangs out with her so SHE must be doing it tooooo. Then there goes your marriage and drama. Just slowly step away.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 11:19 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • *sense. That's what I was trying to say after "makes.
    LanaisSky96

    Answer by LanaisSky96 at 11:23 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I have had a friend cheat not once but twice...We weren't as close because I can't comprehend it. If the relationship isnot working inmy eyes cheating is NOT the answer! now she is finally divorcing her hubby but pregnant with the new guys kid and has 3 kids with the ex...We barely talk just through facebook....I don't get it Iamhaving serious relationship issues and can relate to that but cheating never crosses my mind!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Thanks ladies, I'm just sad about the loss of friendship. Now that this friend has told me, she has left her hubby and moved out - half sharing kids. She whines that her exhusband is bitter and angry, upset that her lovers wife is demanding his time ... and all I can think is " WHAT DID YOU EXPECT!! - and even though we were good friends before its like the floodgates have opened so she feels she can lean on me and confide in me. I miss my old friend, this new improved version is not someone I want to spend time with. Hard when people change direction, and you don't catch the train along side them
    myheartx4

    Comment by myheartx4 (original poster) at 11:26 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • Cheating is SELF absorbed. It consumes your whole life, your mind, your time, your morals, your money,your integrity. No one trusts you. You jeopordize your childs stability of having a stable homelife, you set the example. So how could I possibly have a meaningful, positive relationship while doing so? Sure it's a hard time in their lives. I don't really cut those people out of my life, I just stray fom afar and still remain pleasant. Some even get it together later if they take responsibilty for their actions.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:39 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

  • I had a friend who cheated on her husband, with lots of guys all the time. We would go out, just her and I, and she would ditch me to go home with someone else. Really bad. I tried to stay her friend, but I couldn't do it. I wasnt close with her husband, but I spent time with them together and I respected him as a person and he is a really great dad to their kiddos. So, I had to call it quits. It is hard, because my man is still friends with them. And I need to respect that. It makes me nervous, because she was always so flirty with him when we hung out, especially while drinking. And my boyfriend is OBLIVIOUS to chicks flirting with him, he just thinks they are really friendly...so he acts really friendly back. EH. But, back to my point... it is hard to be friends with someone you do not respect.
    Tarrar

    Answer by Tarrar at 11:46 PM on Mar. 16, 2011

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