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2 Bumps

To the women who have been cheated on and u gave him a 2nd chance, did u really 100% get over it? some women claim that it made their relationship stronger..

slapping forehead

 
gwen20

Asked by gwen20 at 12:59 AM on Mar. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 35 (71,622 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • I guess i am fortunate in the respect my husband and i have been together 25 years (today) and married 23 years November 4th. Neither one of us have ever cheated. I have seen women i have loved and whom have been through this and survive.
    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 3:39 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • Nope. In fact, I tried SOO hard to get over it, but I could never trust him. We ended up fighting like crazy, and we broke it off.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 1:01 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • three times he cheated and each time i forgave him my mom said if i did my wifely duties this would not happen
    but in my mind i knew i did not drive him to these woman he did on his own i was not at fault in way shape or form it was him and all it will never be 100% but it has taken me 32yrs he no longer looks at other woman he know i will walk out even if i have to live on the streets ,i stayed for the kids yes it was the kids that help me to heal in some way ,and the trust i onces had he had to earn it it not to be give lightly in way shape or form , so 85% not 100% maybe in 32yrs but right no
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 1:14 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • Nope.
    Hatsumomo

    Answer by Hatsumomo at 2:28 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • No I'm sorry I couldn't get over it
    Nitestalker

    Answer by Nitestalker at 6:29 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • I did. However, I don't think "getting over it" would be what happened. I didn't just get over it. When I agreed to give my husband a second chance, there were things that HE had to do in order to earn that second chance. Also, we not only did we have to reconcile (which took about 1 year to do) we also had to completely and totally rebuild our marriage from the ground up (which took another few years after we had reconciled). That is what it took to "get over it" completely rebuilding our marriage from the ground up, addressing and rectifying (and coming to mutually happy and livable agreements when compromising needed to happen)ALL the problems/issues we had in our marriage from before infidelity and after.

    In my personal experience. I do not believe that infidelity can just be gotten over. If a 2nd chance is to be given, it must be earned first off. The cheater must prove they want it, and are willing to work for it.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 12:31 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • NOPE, in fact he continued to cheat and have two kids with the woman. so i believe once a cheater always a cheater. and even if you say its brought you closer how can it, you have no trust. you will be wondering where he is and who he is talking to everytime he isn't there with YOU>
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 2:30 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • Hell no you dont my husband cheated on me 9 times in the 9 yrs we was married, he passed almost 4 yrs ago and I still am angry and think of it quite oftten!
    kennysmom09

    Answer by kennysmom09 at 9:18 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • I wanted to add this. My husband cheated (had a one night stand) over 16 years ago. We will be married 26 years in a few months. I can honestly say that our marriage is way way better today than it was all those years ago.

    When my husband cheated, we had a horrible marriage, had for a couple of years. We fought all the time, we couldn't stand one another, couldn't stand to be around one another. He started drinking, we started fighting even more. He got to the point that he didn't want to come home. I got to the point that I didn't care if he did or not. Then one night he came home drunk, puking, crying and confessing to what he had done earlier that night with a co-worker at the time. His choice to sleep with her, did not ruin our marriage. Our marriage was ruined before. He choice was just the catalyst that showed how bad things had really become between us. Rebuilding our marriage did make our marriage better overall.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 12:34 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • I was getting to the point that I was over it enough to not think about it all the time any more when I found out he was still talking to her :( It ripped my heart out that I had tried to trust him agian and he broke that trust again. We are now divorced
    logansmommy711

    Answer by logansmommy711 at 3:02 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

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