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Rephrasing my question Advice Plz

Sorry maybe I did not explain my questions in the last question I posted. I have a 2 1/2 year old step daughter, She has a split home and complete instability. Her father and I give her all those "stable things" She is dependent on couple items. we feel she has behavior problems. Beating her head on things, randomly beginning to cry and continue screaming for long periods of time, began hitting other kids. We can never get her to eat. People can question our parenting skills. Thats fine. I know I am a great mother and he is a great father. I have raised my son wonderfully so far. We are sensitive to her pain of having a split home. I came from a split home and dealt with abandonment so as an adult I understand. When we do give her time out or raise our voices she beats her head on things. I was wondering if anyone else has ever has any similar issues and could give me advice.

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Caleb080906

Asked by Caleb080906 at 4:39 PM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (5)
  • I'm sorry to be of no help but you and your family will b in my prayers. It is so wonderful that you and your husband care for her so much
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 4:47 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I take it she passes back and forth? I wonder what is going on in the other half. If possible you should try to put her on a routine similar to what she has at the other place. It may involve sitting down with the other side and working out bedtimes, mealtimes, etc.
    My dd and I went through this and it was ok for me because I was her PC all the time, She gave him a hell of a time though.
    We eventually worked out a schedule that worked for both of us and her. As far as the eating goes, there never has been a child who has starved him or herself to death. She is using the food to control you and get your attention (something she may lack on the other side) put her food in front of her and let her eat or not. She will eventually eat. The more fuss you make, the worse this behavior becomes.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 4:52 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Also, remember she understands far more than anyone knows. When it is quiet, snuggle her if she wants and tell her how good she is being now. Reward the good as much as you can.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 4:53 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • She sounds like my son who had no permanent home until he came to live here and he has attachment disruption. The best thing for her is for you and hubby to go to court and give her a permanent home. My son is in counseling for his problems it go so bad. No child should live 50/50 or in a split home. They need to have a home where their stuff is there and where everything is the same. Sorry, to people that like the 50/50 arrangement but, it destroyed many children and its not right. People that don't have experience with attachment problems are going to tell you its her wanting attention.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 6:35 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Im sorry but I still stand by my word and think that she is not really the problem here. That is such a young age to have to go through a divorce. Dont look at her like shes evil or anything but a child that has lashing out because you are not her mother and she does not understand that. Good luck to you and I hope you get this worked out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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