Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Would you be angry?

my MIL always is asking me to meet her at the park to go walking. The thing is...she wants to go first thing in the morning (which i am not a morning person) and i have to drive to the park (which the park is about 5 miles up the road) ...my dh told my MIL last night that we've been walking around our neighborhood because its something I WANT TO DO. Her response to him was "well she never wants to go with me." Does she have the right to be mad? i just have more energy to go at night. i like being a bum in the mornings before i go to work. Plus, why waste gas and drive to some park every single day? ERRR..i don't know how to tell her without hurting her feelings and her being angry at me. she gets upset very easily.

 
shay1130

Asked by shay1130 at 8:10 AM on Mar. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I think you should be honest. Tell her you really aren't motivated in the morning and prefer to go in the evening (this is me!). And if she likes, she's welcome to join you then. I'm sure you'll find that doesn't work for her and maybe she'll have a light bulb moment about your going with her. If you don't speak up she'll just think you're avoiding her.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 1:30 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • She's just probably afraid that you don't like her. She sounds a bit overly sensitive. She does have the right to her feelings, but you have the right to yours too. I wouldn't worry about it. Just tell her the truth, and whether or not she accepts that is up to her.
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 8:18 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • Whether she has the right to be upset obviously doesnt seem to matter lol, she is. I would maybe call and try to compromise and see if she wont meet you more midmorning and explain you just arent a morning person and dont want to hold her up from walking. That way it seems like youre looking out for her. She would maybe accept that more and then not be angry.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:16 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • I can see why her feelings would be hurt--she is probably under the impression that you just don't want to walk with HER.

    The only thing you can do is to explain to her (or have your husband do it if you must) exactly what you said here--that you don't like walking in the mornings, that you don't want to have to drive to the park (with gas prices, that shouldn't be too difficult a point to make!), etc. Just be upfront, and then maybe suggest an alternative, like ask her if you and she could meet once every week or two at the park, or if she'd like to walk with you around the neighborhood.

    Good luck!
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 8:17 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • Maybe you could call her and invite her to join you on your walk- and explain that you are not a morning person and you like walking later in the day. Also let her know that walking the neighborhood is enjoyable for you because you can see your neighbors, and also with gas costs- it is free to walk the block instead of driving to the park.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 8:28 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • can i assume she has more time on her hands than you
    small kids, job, husband, housework etc makes for less time
    does she care for young children, work, pick up after husband (who lets face it, men never do enough around the house)
    if so , would explain why she has morning energy

    invite her to walk with you in evenings
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:41 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • she works 2 days a week. i work 5. she does have dogs and a husband. but i have kid, husband, and animals ...she wakes up at 4am so she has her time to be a bum and is ready to start her day by the time i am getting out of bed at 6 30.
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 8:47 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • i don't want to wake up..get my kid ready for school, drive to the park, walk 2 miles, drive home, then have to get ready for work.

    i want to wake up..get kid ready, sit on my ass..sit on my ass...go to work...then come home and do whatever it is i have time for in my day.
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 8:49 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • I could see why your MIL would get upset. Just talk to her honestly and explain why you don't walk with her. Maybe a compromise would be in order. Offer to try to take turns walking mornings and evenings. Since you work, ask her to join you in the evenings walking around your block and on week-ends, offer to walk at the park with her in the morning. She's probably looking for company to wak with. A lot of mother-in-laws don't get along with their daughter-in-laws at all. I'd be grateful that she wants to share this time with you. I don't know your relationship with her, but I've been learning to look for positives instead of negatives in life. It helps me feel better about myself.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:50 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • i love her..she is like a best friend.
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 8:52 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN