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I know I'll catch all kinds of hell for asking, but I need advice!

Argh! Basically, my husband's whole family smokes pot, including my mother-in-law and father-in-law. The problem? I"m seriously anti-drug! I could go on about it for hours, so let's just suffice it to say that I don't approve!

I'm nearly six months pregnant now, and I want to raise my daughter as I see fit. This obviously includes the "anti-drug" pep talks. However, I'll feel like a tool if I preach to her to not do drugs, all the while secretly condoning the fact that her grandparents partake in the activity. I really DON'T condone it; I HATE it. I want to keep them out of her life completely, as well as my husband's and my own, but he won't have it. I don't know what to do!

I've asked my husband to talk to his parents about it. I don't need my daughter getting a contact high as a baby! I'm really sad and torn about this. What do I do?

 
KatieBatey

Asked by KatieBatey at 6:48 PM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Health

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Answers (9)
  • You tell them this is YOUR child and if they ever smoke pot around her, then that's it! You raise your baby the wya you want to raise her and don't let anyone break your rules.

    When your daughter is old enough to understand what's going on, explain to her that drugs are bad and that they do terrible things to your body. Some people choose to stay away from icky things like that, while others just don't learn! She WILL understand that. My boys are 4 and 5 and KNOW that smoking cigs are icky, gross, and bad but they see g-ma and g-pa do it all the time! They are always giving them a hard time about it too!
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 10:19 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • By the way, neither my husband nor I do drugs, drink, or smoke. We're both very straight-laced people. I'm so confused!
    KatieBatey

    Answer by KatieBatey at 6:49 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • well the best thing to do is compermize. they are old they arent going to stop smoking pot just to make you happy. lol my grandfather smoke pot till the day he died. Id ask them to never smoke it around your daughter thats not asking to much.
    Mommy2B04

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 6:50 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I would say that simply asking them not to smoke around your daughter (same as you would with a cigarette smoker) would suffice.

    I don't smoke cigarettes (anymore!) and neither does my SO. My whole family does though. She will be taught that it is bad for you and your health, and that she shouldn't do it, and they have already been asked not to smoke around her (and they don't)
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 6:53 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Asking them not to do it around your daughter is your choice. If they don't comply then they only get to hang out with her at your home where they cannot do it. I have talked with my girls about drugs and the realities of them. I do partake but I see no problem in telling them they cannot do it as long as they are under 18 AND under my roof. I have my personal reasons for my use and don't feel I need to explain myself but I also do not have the right to push it on people to do or make them accept what I do. I do have a problem with people that expose there children or animals to it because they are too careless to be careful or refuse to do it when they are ALONE.
    Geminus

    Answer by Geminus at 6:55 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • My brother has smoked pot daily for years and his wife also smokes it. I never bring my child to their home or even see them because I have no idea how much they are carrying on them or if they have other drugs. I don't want to be caught up in their illegal behavior.

    The rest of my family thinks I'm being mean for doing this but nobody is going to tell me I, my husband or my child has to be exposed to illegal drug activity.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Probably I wouldn't go to their house, they should not smoke in your house - house rules.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:48 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • well i dont think weed is that bad-- i smoke it, my boyfriend smokes it, and so does many of my family members. i never ever smoke it around my child, only outside before bed at night. and i totally understand your point. ask them kindly to keep it at home if they come over, and tell them not to smoke it if your going to be there. i have many friends who come and visit for long periods of time who don't smoke it, so i don't smoke it when they're visiting. it's respect, if you don't smoke it, why should you have to sit in a big cloud, along with your kids. but you also have to realise that if they have smoked it for this long, they must be enjoying it, and you can't just ask them to quit cold turkey, it just won't happen! doesn't make them bad people, or bad grandparents, and it could be worse- they could be alchoholics or crackheads!
    Stephanie.Xo

    Answer by Stephanie.Xo at 9:37 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • oh and by the way-i'm not bashing your post, but my parents never EVER smoked weed, infact they discouraged it completely in mine and my brothers life. however, we both learned from different people and situations about drugs, and now both smoke pot. unless your child is going to be locked up in a box have fun keeping drugs out of her life completely, it's on tv, in schools, and on the internet, i'm not saying light'em up kiddies but it's their choice to make, you just have to hope they make the right choice!
    Stephanie.Xo

    Answer by Stephanie.Xo at 9:41 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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