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Im a little nervous us moving close to his ex.

So yes my husband chose to marry me, but he was with HER, for 12 years. They share 2 children together, and I know she will forever be apart of our lives.

We have made the decision to move to the state they live in. I know how sometimes you see your old spouse, partner, etc, and when its the four of you, you sometimes wish the family would have stayed together. You wonder "what if". I know I did a few months after I left my ex husband

My dh says he is over her, and doesnt want anything to do with her, and the move is only so he could be with his kids, but for some reason, I am still just so worried that moving close to her, he might miss her, and might possibly go back to her... I am not at all psycho jealous, Im just uncomfortable. What if he see'sher and thinks "what could have been?" and leaves me?

Im just scared. He very rarely speaks with her, and I know I dont want to be enemies with her, but her relationship is not going so good, what if she tries to get my husband back?

Dh and I have only been together a year. You cant compare a year to 12. Maybe Im just over analyzing everything?? ::::sigh:::: Its so much more comforting living states away from her....

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Mar. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I understand why you're uncomfortable. I would be to. But you just have to have faith in what he says, trust in it and realize he married you, not her and there must be a reason for that.

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 11:53 AM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • Like you said, he married you and not her. Even with the kids and their history, he chose you. Sounds like he really loves you. You will be fine. Try not to let it bother you a lot.

    Answer by mommyxdos at 12:13 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • How wonderful for both of you and the children to be closer to each other.

    There's a reason she's an ex. He should be near his children.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 12:20 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Have you tried talking to him about it? He could reassure you and comfort you where nobody else can, if he says he doesn't want to be with her, the best thing you could do is just believe him. Jealousy is a monster, don't let your thoughts go there or it will take you over. Anytime you start having thoughts about him loving her just change your thoughts to positive happy ones, such as "he chose me" . Hope this helps. Good luck with the move and all;)

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 1:11 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • my dh has two ex's one he was married to and one not but he has a child with each of them and we all live in the same dang town...I will tell you that even 9yrs later it does not make the fact any easier..that thought will alway be in my mind that they would try especially now that he is making good money and they are moochers..anyway I would def tell you NEVER NEVER let your guard bff's hubbys ex wife moved on their road and she was soo paranoid well come to find out him and his ex were never let your guard down..just tell him how you feel and set your own guidelines..and boundaries..

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • oh geez... ANON. that only makes me feel ten times worse! lol

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:19 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • Don't borrow trouble. If he still loved her, he would still be with her. I live about 45 minutes from my DH's ex. It's far enough away that we never see her. Never. So relax. As long as you are not moving down the street from her, you will both be fine.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 4:32 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

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