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My SO spends almost every night with his friends, and I don't know if I'm mad, or just feel like I should be mad?

Every morning we both get up and go to work, we take turns getting our son ready. I get home a couple hours earlier so I pick our son up and make dinner, then he comes home and again we take turns cleaning up and putting our son to bed. Then I like to relax and watch TV, but since we only have 1 TV that gets cable, my SO gets bored with nothing else to do at home and wants to go down the street to hang out with his buddies. This is almost every night, and I feel like he should be home, but I can't really think of a good reason why when I'm not doing anything myself. If I ask him to watch a movie or do something with me he will, but usually I just like my quiet time. He only goes down the street to his buddies house, never spends money or anything like that, he doesn't stay out real late, he'll come home if I need him or ask him too, he's always reachable but I still get irritated when he's gone all the time. But then I feel bad when he's bored at home and I don't feel like doing anything. Am I being ridiculous? I think part if it might be a result of jealousy that I don't really have any friends I can go hang out with even if I wanted to.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on Mar. 17, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • The first question that comes to mind is, is the friend he hangs with involved with someone or married? If he is, I'm sure she isn't really thrilled that your man is occupying his time at her house all the time. lol if you are happy and content with him being gone then I say don't create trouble where there is none. Although, you could compromise and watch something you both enjoy or play a board game a few nights a week. It doesn't sound like things are bad, you just need to learn to enjoy each other's company.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 3:54 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • It's good that he is not a man who ignores you if you need him and comes home instead of staying out late. That said, I don't see why someone who has a woman and child at home needs to hang out with his friends every night. I can see him doing that a couple of times during the week or weekend or whatever but every night is kind of teenage to me. Especially when you get to be the parent and he gets to check out. I've dealt with this and still am to some extent so I'd advise you talk to him now because you would not believe how fast the resentment can build.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • It sounds like he is taking care of what he needs to, but I would be worried that the two of you may be letting your relationship take more of a back seat than it deserves. You don't want to grow apart if you love each other.

    How would you feel about some TV off activities with you and your husband? Talking, playing cards, enjoying a glass of wine . . . It sounds like the both of you could use each other's company.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • i think you need to find a sitter and get out with him once a month for just you time.. do something neither of you have done before.. sounds like you both are just bored..
    try a family night once a month and go somewhere fun with your son too,,
    be silly

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:34 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • I see what you are saying but you have a child together and just because there isn't a pony show and entertainment at your home that doesn't mean it's okay for him to be out and about every night either. You have a home and a child together, my SO WANTS to be home with me even if we are only watching TV. Sure he goes out with his friends occasionally but like maybe once per month or something like that. He is home to help with the housework, laundry or just simply hang out. Now we are in our early 40s - so if you are in your early 20's then I can understand why your man wants to be out - most guys are not ready for family life and the responsibility that comes with it. Most men in their 20's are still wanting to go out, they have no problem making you a mom but then think they can continue their single lifestyle. I don't think thats cool.

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 12:49 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • I think its ok but i def. see your point i would probably want him spendin time at home with me

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 12:34 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • Well said, 8Tinkerboo8.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 1:22 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • guess that is just another reason he is an so and not a husband... he is still a child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Mar. 17, 2011