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Is my husband and I out of line or is my mother and father in law out of line?

Ok long story short we are temporairly living with my in laws until tax season comes around and then we will have the money to move. Well our bedroom used to be white but now its all brown and yucky from the years of smoking my in laws have done. Anyways so yesterdat we took money of our own and went and bought wgite paint and painted the room. We have a 16 month old son and I am currently 8 months pregnant with our daughter. Last night my FIL came home drunk out of his mind and he literally got physical with my DH all because we painted our room the original color it was. I had my son in my left arm holding him when I saw my FIL trying to put his hands around my husbands neck, well I flipped and started hitting on him screaming at him to get away from my husband, I thne got pushed into a microwave while still holding my son.
(to be continued)

 
Married2theBest

Asked by Married2theBest at 7:11 PM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Relationships

Level 2 (13 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (37)
  • Put it this way, if he had got a hold of your son and caused permanent physical harm THEN would you be overreacting? Honestly you are lucky that no permanent physical damage is done. But that being said I would not allow him around my children, that was his son he did that to what makes you think he wont do it to his granson when he gets older. Also the amount of emotional damage that can cause is devastating even from such a young age. Grandma doesnt know any better because she's lived it so long. If he must see the baby (your hubby insists) then make sure you set STRONG boundaries. (It has to be in public with him sober etc.) And if he breaks the rules then he cannot see grandbaby same with grandma. Good luck, dealing with abuse is never easy.
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 7:27 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Cops were called and DH and I stayed in a hotel room because my in laws were too drunk to drive anywhere, but I told my husband that, that man will NEVER EVER be allowed to step foot into our house because I don't care for the man, he has done other things but this was the last straw for me. My MIL thinks it's unfair because the jerk was drunk and that she shouldn't be punished for what he did! I never said she wasn't allowed there I just said him. I am over reacting cause I sure didn't think I was?
    Married2theBest

    Answer by Married2theBest at 7:13 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Okay from what I've read so far, your FIL was out of line. Violence is never an answer to anything. And then for you to get shoved while pregnant and holding your son? Total BS. Okay...I'll wait to comment further until I read what else happened.
    boizmom

    Answer by boizmom at 7:14 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I probably would have asked them before painting the room, it is their house afterall. But I don't think he had the right to physically attack him.
    lilbit837

    Answer by lilbit837 at 7:14 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • No, I don't think you're overreacting...I'm not sure I understand, though. You painted a room in their house?
    KatieCrandall

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 7:14 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Okay, nope, I do not think that you are over reacting. I wouldn't let a belligerent drunk around my children either. Drunk or not, there' no excuse to get violent with someone.  I personally would not want someone drunk and stinking of cigarette smoke coming near my kids anyway.

    boizmom

    Answer by boizmom at 7:16 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Ok for the women who had the comments about painting a room in their house, we asken my FIL about a month ago he said that it was ok as long as we didn't use a spray gun to use brushes thats what we did, he got pissed because we didn't tell him yesterday before he left for the bar that we were painting the room that day

    Married2theBest

    Answer by Married2theBest at 7:20 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I don't think you were out of line. Abuse of any sort is unacceptable, whether you are living in their house or not, if you painted the damn room purple with yellow polk-a-dots it doesn't matter, violence, drunk or not, is unacceptable.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 7:25 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Oh No way! Drunk or not your FIL had no right to put his hands on your husband or you! Especialy with your child in your arms. If I was in your position I would say the same thing! So no you are def. not out of line!
    Mrs_williams90

    Answer by Mrs_williams90 at 7:43 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • This is a horrible story. It's so sad that your husband's father would treat his own son, pregnant wife and grandchild like this. Unfortunately, they sound like alcoholics. I'd get out of dodge sooner than later. Your father-in-law's behavior had nothing to do with paint, it had to do with him being drunk, period.

    You guys might want to try going to Alanon to get some support to deal with these people.

    Best of luck to you.
    pugpin

    Answer by pugpin at 7:48 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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