I would work on trying to help him understand two things: realistic expectation of how an 8 year old should act, and an understanding of how your son will be shaped and molded by the way that his step-father treats him. If your fiance has never parented before then he may not have a good grasp on what you can expect from an 8 year old boy. The child will not be quiet, he will be energetic and boisterous, he will not be cautious but rather reckless and rowdy. If your fiance expects the child to act like he is older than his real age he will constantly end up frustrated or angry with the child. Secondly, I think it's important to realize the impact that anger and yelling have on a child. As parents we want to build self esteem, not crush it, we want to foster independence, not make children scared to breathe in their own home. Of course if he ever hits your child you need to get out, or if he can not control his temper. GL!
at 4:23 PM on Mar. 17, 2011