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Why ask for help for the holidays?

I have been looking on craiglists for different reasons and i keep coming across ads for people who is looking for help to buy christmas gifts for their children ages from 3 to 17. Now I am all for asking for help when it is needed but this is a holiday which if you dont have the money then go with out. I would rather places like the salvation army to give all the money that they receive to give food. not toys and a bunch of crap that a child doesnt even need. One year I was looking on a tree for the salvation army and the tags was asking for xbox games and playstation games. Well I dont have one of those systems and if you can pay for that then maybe you dont need as much help as you are asking for. Now if you dont have the extra money do you ask for help or go with out. My kids will go without this year and I have already told them that, I will beg for food but not gifts.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:53 PM on Nov. 24, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • I agree with OP that some of the things that some people are asking for is a little excessive. My son wants an IPOD touch. Sure we have the money to buy it, but I told him ne needed to ask for money collectively.

    Why would they grow up resenting the parent, what because those children will know their mom did not love them because she wasn't able to provide kids. That's BS.
    Is having that one gift reallly going to make their life normal, or will it go back to business as usual after the holiday.

    Having material things will not make you happier. They might be more disappointed in having wishes that aren't met, by having such high expectations.

    I think OP has her priorities straight. What's wrong with wanting the basic needs being met? No one ever died from not getting presents for Christmas?

    Answer by Alma_C at 10:52 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • well bah hun bug to you!!! who pissed in your coacoa puffs this morning

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I have already seen on here people bashing others for asking for help. If someone can put aside THEIR pride for the sake of their kids then I say good for them. The charities out there that do this give a lot of people a sense of the holidays and that is giving. Other wise it is just about getting.

    I got toys for tots one year and it was difficult to do. The next year I volunteered and gave so if you do that then it can alleviate the guilt because you give back. If you do that it makes it wonderful I think. It's just like at church, you give and when you need it they are there to help you. There is just other ways to look at it other than your point of view.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I understand what you are saying and agree....if you can afford the expensive game systems, you shouldn't be asking for help buying gifts. That just seems logical to me

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Ok so first off no one pissed in my cocoa puffs. And yes I agree that thats how xmas is spirit of giving and all. But I think we need to focus teaching our children that its also about spending time with the family, not just about the quantity of presents under the tree. This year just makes it different the economy sucks and jobs are being lost everyday and its time for people to save for food and necessities and not spending on gifts. I love giving but its time to be practical.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I think that the whole point of the holidays is to give and make others happy. You have no idea what someone else needs are and remember children ask for things because they do not always have the same concept as we do. My DD asked for a Flat Screen TV and told me she would put that on her list for Santa because she knows how expensive they are.

    I believe in teaching my children that there are people in this world who do not have as much as they do so every year we do the following:

    My children take $10.00 of their own money and they buy food for the local soup kitchen. Then we take a tag off the gift tree and we buy a gift. Sometimes they make cards for the soldiers home and we go up there with my father.

    My children do not get everything they want, but they also do not need for anything.

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:29 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • I help run the Toys for Tots program in our area, and I know that a lot of the people we give things to, those are the only presents their children are going to get that year. Yes, some of the parents have made poor choices, and yes, the main focus of holidays should be family, but on the other hand, a lot of kids don't understand that fully. Especially younger ones. And how are they going to feel when they go back to school and everyone is talking about what gifts they got and they are sitting there having gotten nothing? I do agree with you on the video games and expensive gifts like that however. We have had a few people asking us for stuff like that and that does annoy me. But in the end, you choose who you donate to, if you do at all, and if you don't agree with it, don't donate. Simple as that.

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 8:31 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • There is nothing wrong with asking for help if you truly need it and I think every child deserves to have a present under the tree.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 8:45 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • It is not about the x-box or the new bike. It is about making a child's life a little more miraculous than what has been going on. I worked at a domestic violence and sexual assault center where every year the center would provide Christmas gifts and food for past clients in need. And yes, some children wanted a game station. When your father beat your mother or you were raped by your mother's boyfriend, your mom pays rent to live in a house that has actually been condemned...I think that you can make a wish for whatever. Those tags on the tree are for those wishes. As in they wish they had a more "normal" life and they wish they were indeed having a happy new year. Those families of the Salvation Army also get food and clothes. When you have nothing (and not even a roof over your head) it isn't a sin to have wishes.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:02 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • It just makes me sad to see people asking for gloves and hats on the gift trees.

    I would not buy a video game for a child (I can hardly afford that for my DH!) but I would gladly (if I had the money) purchase a new toy for someone. As it is right now, we're really cutting it close this Christmas.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 10:15 PM on Nov. 24, 2008