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how do you deal with a depressed spouse?

My husband is very depressed. He has seperated from me for a lot of reasons, but I believe his depression plays a huge role in it. He still lives with us though and we are going to counseling. How do I help him during his depression? Do I hug him anmd tell him I love him or do I keep my distance since we are seperated? How can I help him?

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Precious333

Asked by Precious333 at 8:08 PM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,682 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Separated or not, he is still someone who at least WAS important in your life. I think I would try to be as supportive as possible and try and encourage him to get some counseling, offer to go with him even. It would help you both a lot especially since I'm assuming there are probably children involved. Good luck with him, I hope he gets better soon.
    Slinkee

    Answer by Slinkee at 8:10 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Yes keep being supportive I don't think depressed people REALLY want to be left alone even though sometimes it may seem that way. Gosh, I can't imagine if my husband was depressed I would do eveyrthing in my power to help him through it and get our family back together happy and healthy. GL to you guys...
    Apr1l

    Answer by Apr1l at 8:16 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Get this book, trust me the principals in it WORK!! They saved my marriage!

    Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 8:18 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • People suffering from depression need support -- just listening sometimes. It sounds like you are in couples counseling, but I would recommend individual therapy as well. Also, you don't mention if your husband is on medication. He can talk to his doctor or ask the therapist for a referral to a psychiatrist. Starting medication helped me save my marriage.
    WD40

    Answer by WD40 at 8:20 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • You state you are in counseling...I suggest you make a seperate appointment for yourself only and ask the therapist how you can help your spouse cope. Depression is a very isolating thing..and how you approach it depends upon what is causing it. Depression due to substance abuse or other addictive issues (gambling, sex-addicition, ect) is alot different that depression due to chemical imbalances than depression due to lack of self-esteem or depression due to job loss. Too many variables to answer in one distinct way.

    Sometimes just listening helps, but I suspect it is not that simple. Talk to the therapist individually and inquire about medication for your husband.
    happymom612

    Answer by happymom612 at 8:26 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • Answered at 8:18 PM on Nov. 24, 2008 by: feesharose
    that book is great!! My husband and I read it months ago and its lessons stuck with us.
    Apr1l

    Answer by Apr1l at 8:28 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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