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Does anyone else deal with their Hubby being on the road all the time?

My hubby has been driving truck for the past 11 years. He is on the road for 2 weeks at a time. When he does get home he is only home for 2 days. He gets one day off for every week on the road.

Today has been a very frustrating day. He is sitting at one of their terminals in Texas. He need to get his bunk heater fixrd. When he pulled in Tuesday evening he told them he had a load to deliver by thursday morning and he need the heater fixed. They told him he had to go to the end of the list and he had to give up his load. Company policy is, "If you are under a load, you get put at the front of the line and get repairs done so you can get your load delivered." He lost his load, which means he is out 500 miles, which is less money in the pay check. They told him they would get him in the shop last night and they did not get to his truck till this morning. This afternoon they told him they do not have the part and have to order it. Now he has no idea when he will be getting his truck back. So much for next weeks pay check.

He is so frustrated and upset and was very hard to talk to today. When he gets that upset he wants me to say something and I don't know what to say. I do not have the answers and I do not know what he wants to hear. I can not change the situation and I can't make them get it done any faster. He then gets upset at me because I do not know what to say to him. On top of everything else, I have been having a fibromyalgia flare up all week. I have been in a lot of pain. When I have flare ups, my mind does not work that well and I feel like I am in a fog all the time. It only makes him more upset when I don't talk to him and tell him what he wants to hear. I tell him I do not know what to do, but pray they get it fixed and he gets another load by the weekend. He then told me he already knew that.

I am at a loss. This is not the first time I have gone through this with him, but do not know what I can do to help him feel better and help him to calm down. I love him so much and I hate to see him so upset and I can't do anything to help him. Does anyone else deal with their hubby being gone from home several days a week and how do they handle it all the time? You would think by now it would not bother me since it has been 11 years.

I don't know why it has seemed to bother me so much this wee with him being gone. Maybe it is the flare ups this week that has me down and I just miss him so much. He is due to be home Monday (considered his drive day) and then be home Tuesday and Wednesday and head back out Thursday. I am so afraid with his truck being in the shop that he will not make it home when he's suppose to and I really need him to come home. I really need to spend some time with him. We do talk every day on teh phone. Some days we talk up to 8 hours. Today was a bad day. It was so windy in Texas, I couldn't hear him if he was outside and inside he couldn't hear me, because it was so noisy from all the other drivers there.

I guess I am just missing him terribly and I want to see him so bad. It make sme miss him so much more when I know he is upset and there is nothing I can do to help him. I guess I just needed to get it all off my chest and quit dwelling on something I have no control over.

 
mlanderson

Asked by mlanderson at 10:33 PM on Mar. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,455 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • Yes, my SO is a truck driver too. He's usually gone about 4 weeks and home for 3-4 days. I know exactly how you feel. Mine couldn't find a parking spot last night, went almost an hour over his hours before he could find a spot. He was seriously angry, and I didn't know what to say to him. I knew he was upset, and I knew why, but it's like...what can I do? He's in PA (well, he was last night), I'm here in FL.

    I know all about the paycheck thing, too. That, I think, is probably the toughest part, aside from not seeing him. Not knowing what he'll get paid, or if he'll get the loads that'll really pay or what. And he can't stand to sit and do nothing, so anytime he's waiting more than a couple of hours between loads, he's an absolute bear to deal with.

    And we, too, spend hours on the phone like that. :) So glad to see it's not just us.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 10:57 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • you are not alone with your dh being gone alot..my case however is alot longer..my dh is gone for months at the time and i dont get to see him until he gets a weekend off and then its only for one day and he has to drive forever bc he travels to diff states too..we do however get to talk on the phone every day but its only for about and hr bc by the time he gets off work and eats supper its late and hes give out..I have been with my dh 9yrs and it does not get any easier..we have a 14mnth old now and its tough at times..my dh gets angry and flustrated some times to and i dont know what to say either..take things one day at a time and pray just as you said you are doing..i just wanted to post and let you know you are not alone with your dh being gone
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • So good to hear from you, wendythewriter, who's living the live now. I have talked to so many women who's DH used to drive. Right now DH is in Texas and I am in Ohio. Even though we have been living this life for 11 years, it is still really hard at times. It makes it hard at time also because he hates being away from home. He loves his job and what he does, he hates being away from the boys and I. It is almost like a honeymoon every time he comes home, but I miss him so much when he is gone and it makes it worse when he is so upset and there is nothing I can do about it.

    So happy to have someone that really understands exactly what it is like. With them getting load and how imoratant it is. Every mile counts and when they don't get the miles, you don't get a paycheck.

    Would love to keep in touch with you wendythewriter.
    mlanderson

    Comment by mlanderson (original poster) at 11:18 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

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