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8 Bumps

This is a really odd question, not for prude or judgmental people... adult content

I have been married for almost 8 years, and I have 2 beautiful kids. My husband has always watched porn and that does not bother me, BUT lately it has been getting weird. He is really into som sadistic violent stuff, which I am not really into. Now he is asking me to attened some bondage parties, I told him I was not 100% comfortable with the idea. Now he is angry with me, and I don't know how to respond.... I am halfway thinking that he might be "up to something" hence the new found obsession. How should I respond, and what do you think, I am just plain frustrated at this point... Thanks!


Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Mar. 17, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I know there are some people out there like this, but violent type sex with people you don't even know? I would uncomfortable with that too. I don't blame you one bit. If he goes by himself, it's no telling what kind of STD he will bring home, much less AIDS. I would really have to consider that thought before I let my husband go by himself. Tell him you are willing to try something at home where you know you will be safe from getting anything. You might want to ask him what started this interest just to see what he says. Just don't make an argument out of it, just tell him that you are curious. I think you have a right to know.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:00 AM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I would tell him if he goes ALONE that he finds somewhere else to stay ALONE!

    Answer by harris4 at 11:53 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • You are the one in control of your actions and decisions. Never let ANYONE, husband or not, guilt trip you or talk you into anything you're uncomfortable with. He should respect your feelings about this and not get upset with you, he's acting like a spoiled child.

    Answer by Kathy675 at 11:44 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • Perhaps he has just developed a new fetish and it wont last long? Sometimes when things get a little boring in a long term relationship, fetishes arise and dissipate after a while. Maybe just try doing something new with him. of course only something you would be comfortable with

    Answer by kayceeisit at 11:39 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • he shouldn't be mad at you for not doing something you're uncomfortable with. that's like asking him to go deep sea diving when he can't swim and getting mad when he tells you know. tell him you are okay with spicing up your sex life but it has to be something you are both comfortable with. like maybe go for the fuzzy cuffs and a blindfold but i think bondage parties is a little much.

    Answer by TiffanieK at 11:41 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • he shouldnt be angry at you for not being comfortable with that. thats some heavy stuff, its not for everyone. he should understand that youre not comfortable. do NOT let him malnipulate or convince you into doing stuff youre not comfortable with.

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 11:44 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • Well seeing your update if he wants to go alone then he can sign divorce papers. Thats JUST ME though.

    I am each to their own but no way in hell am I gonna let my man go to a "sex party" without me, I wouldn't go so that mean he doesn't go.
    I believe sex should just between the couple but hey again to each thier own but there is a limit...


    Answer by rebel07 at 11:56 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • Maybe there are a few small things you could come up with that u would be comfortable trying in the privacy of ur own room together? (like a whip, blindfold, handcuffs?) You should never force yourself to do something you are not comfortable with, though, and he should understand that. Good luck.

    Answer by Kword at 11:40 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • I would stand my ground. Are you comfortable with him going along? If you're not then I would tell him that if he chooses to go then consequences would come with it. He should be taking your feelings into consideration, and hopefully he will.

    Answer by shoot4thestars at 11:59 PM on Mar. 17, 2011

  • Sorry, You know what's right for you. If it were me, I would be packing his things..... Good Luck.

    Answer by LeJane at 10:28 AM on Mar. 18, 2011