Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2nd best to pot anyone?

i just recently got out of a 3 year long relationship. i met back up with a guy i used to see in highschool and the chemistry we once had is still there full throttle, but he loves his pot. his mary j comes before me almost all of the time. he would rather be high than spend time with me. now im a mommy and i cant and wont have my son around that shit. when i was younger and i had no responsibilities i didnt mind being around him stoned, but now i have my son and i cant take him around that. instead of staying sober so he can see me, my boyfriend will smoke up instead so i cant see him. any one have ideas as to how i can find a compermise or deal with this somehow?

Answer Question
 
flying8balls21

Asked by flying8balls21 at 10:33 PM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • leave. please dont compermise.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • if you don't want your son around it then your boyfriend is going to have to quit. He will still be around it even if he doesn't see it. Don't compromise, it sounds like you know exactly what you want, so take it, no guy is worth compromising your integrity. Good luck!
    amyofthejungle

    Answer by amyofthejungle at 10:45 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • if he won't quit smoking-then you should quit seeing him! you'll find someone else that lights your fire! he's not the only guy who will make sparks fly! i wouldn't want my child around it either and i wouldn't compromise-no matter what!
    pinkclover

    Answer by pinkclover at 10:52 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • leave, it's not worth the BS! beleave me my 1st hubby was and still is a guy who would put anthing before the pot. It's like they are in a good mood because they are high...if they aren't high they are crabby. BTW what makes the sparks fly? is it the sex? what if he weren't high and happy and the sex was no longer? One thing people don't realize is sex increases seratonin in the brain...seratonin is a feel good chemical..have sex you feel great and people thinks that's somehow chemistry and love..Last year I babysat for a single dad who tried to get me to cheat on my hubby by telling me how magical love making is stoned....I laughed at him! Stoned men have no clue!
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 11:30 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • You're compromising for what reason? Chemistry? Not good enough to settle for something that you know is the wrong thing for you. If you feel this strongly, don't have him as a boyfriend. Keep him as a booty call until someone better comes along.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • There's no compromise here. Being second to drugs is NEVER acceptable.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:13 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • its not the sex ladies... ummm how to quickly explain. ok this is cheesy and cliche' but its actually true. when he's sober, him and i have the relationship people talk about. you know how its said you can say a million things without saying a word? that, and he's one of like 3 people that understands me entirely. i dont have to explain myself to him, he just knows. we've been friends since we were 14 and have always had that connection. as for sexual chemistry, we lack that. i think he is a HORRIBLE kisser. so its more complicated than just "sexual lust" its not like that at all. our connection is one almost every one looks for. i just hate his POT!!!!!
    flying8balls21

    Answer by flying8balls21 at 10:41 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • ok let me tell you from experience this has disaster written all over it. My bf was a pot head and still was after a 14 yr marriage...some people just never grow up...if you are unhappy about it now it will only get worse...you CANNOT change him only your circumstances.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:07 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.