Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Do you think it is right to spank your child?

This is a ongoing question I know. But I want some insight into what others think. I have gotten away from spanking my kids. And retreated to time out, explaining why it was wrong for them to do what they did, and also taking things away such as toys, snack, and t.v. time. But there are some things that I still pop my kids about on the hand that is. I know you always hear oh it is wrong to hit your kids or it is abuse. But I also know that every parent has a different way in disciplining there children. So lady's what is your opinion on spanking and disciplining your children. Any comments and opinions are welcome..

Answer Question

Asked by Jennalou at 10:55 AM on Mar. 18, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 4 (32 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • I don't agree with it. I'm a buddhist, so very non violent. I just don't see what physically hurting children has to do with teaching them, or encouraging an open and honest and love based relationship with them.
    Physical pain encourages fear, resentment, and not a lot else. Everything that it does, can be done with other, more effective, less detrimental ways.

    Answer by Piskie at 11:03 AM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • The back of the hand is very tender. You can actually break blood vessels. I spanked mine on the leg or butt, but only if they were doing something that might harm them or someone else. Just enough to get their attention. One swat usually does it. Minor things, no. Divert their attention, give them something else to play with, remove them from the area, you get the idea.

    Answer by Kimimale at 11:09 AM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • My parents spanked me and my brothers and I spank my kids. I don't have to do it everyday or even every week but when its needed its done.

    Answer by aheuszel at 11:09 AM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I do. I believe that when done correctly spanking is a wonderful disciplinary tool. Of course, like any other disciplinary tool, it needs to be used as a part of an arsenal and not on it's own. Time-outs, Grounding, Removal of toys or privileges and even just a good ol' "talkin' too" also need to be included in that arsenal as well...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:12 AM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Well I wouldn't know because my son is not even old eneough to get a spanken but yes i think its right to spank your child..... If there miss behaving and not listning to you then I think you should but if you want to spoil it and give your child anything it wants then go ahead it's your kid not ours. You do whatever you want.

    Answer by Fredieu at 11:28 AM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I think I have the right to discipline my kids as I see fit. It worked for generations know those generations everyone says we need to get back to where kids were respectful of their parents and other adults. Hmmmm...
    Spanking is a last resort when they refuse to follow the rules/do as their told and every other punishment has not deterred them. My kids couldn't care less if I took away every toy in their room. They haven't played with their DSs in months, have been banned from the xbox for weeks, no TV for days, 1 is grounded to the house until the end of the month, half of their toys were taken away, they get grounded to their room, to their beds with nothing to do but read but they don't care. They still refuse to do their chores, fight with each other and basically act like brats. If spanking gets them in line than that's what is used.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:31 AM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I did when they were little for some things, but it wasn't too often. I mainly use communication and listening skills to handle issues, since my oldest was about 7. It works for us. Sometimes I look back and feel guilty about hitting and wish that I'd have come up with another way, but at the time I did what I knew.
    I also agree with Piskie - I believe spanking can instill fear and resentment which can lead to other issues like lying and the inability to talk openly. Of course this was my case as I grew up, I lied all the time because I didn't want to get spanked (of course my parents were pretty extreme, using belts, wooden paddles). I still carry a lot anger and resentment towards my father. I don't even talk to the man, it actually made me more disresepectful towards him as I became older.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:42 AM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I have found that the corner or taking away a toy works a million times better for us. Removing my son from an activity he loves, that gets attention fast.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • @anon

    The corner works pretty good for my kids. Removing them: that results in a huge tantrum (even from my 10 and 9 year olds). Then I have to listen to screaming for the next 20 minutes, they still haven't done what they were asked and I have to punish them for their behavior because there's no reason a 10yo needs to throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming because I made her turn off the TV to finish her homework or because she didn't clean up the mess SHE made in the kitchen.

    It's when people think there is a 1 size fits all solution to discipline that there is a problem. Not everything works for every kid. Just the mention of the corner with my 8yo is enough to get her motivated. My 10yo won't react unless I get up and she knows she's about to get spanked...she doesn't care about anything else.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 12:11 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I find it is not needed or missed at all. Not an option and not right for my child. We use creartivity, compassion, and logic to provide correction, teach, and punish. There are many other options other than time out or spanking. If I teach my son to use his words and to think through his choices, to think about how to resolve an issue - I need to role model the same thing.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:30 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.