About 9 months ago I had a falling-out with my best friend. To summarize, she had become quite negative, to the point that it was difficult to even talk with her. We had 1 awkward conversation in the summer about a camping trip we were planning. Both of us were really annoyed with each other after the conversation - I was annoyed with how negative she was about every aspect of the trip, and apparantly she was upset because she felt like I made the plans without her wants or needs in mind. We didn't communicate about this for months; summer got really busy and we didn't see each other that often, and while things felt awkward, the longer time went on, the sillier it seemed to bring up a dumb conversation from so long ago. Finally, we made a way-past-due attempt to clear the air, and she told me how hurt her feelings were (over the camping trip, and also felt like I did not make her a priority). I felt horrible I had hurt her feelings- I really had no idea. I apologized like crazy. I also told her she had been a bit negative lately and I just really wanted her to be happy. The next day, I sent her flowers and a card because I felt like such a dolt for hurting her feelings.
I thought that things would go back to normal, but they never did. We would get together every once in a while (our husbands are best friends and also work together) but it was always uncomfortable. She would arrive always in a very bad mood and make snide remarks the whole time, and spend most of her time texting on her phone. After each interaction, I would feel totally annoyed at how she was behaving, and then over a few weeks or months I would think a bout all the good times we had, and would try to reach out to her again. Finally I got the clue that she was obviously not interested in continuing the friendship, so I stopped contacting her. In January, my husband invited them over and they declined- she said she felt really uncomfortable with us. So I left her a message telling her I really would love for them to come over and I really missed her- and I meant it. She did not respond. WEEKS later, she sent me a long email about all the things I have done that have hurt her. Truly, most of the accusations were misunderstandings. I replied and apologized for any behavior that hurt her feelings. I tried to explain my side and I told her I really would like to try to work things out if she was up to it. She texted me that she got my email and needed a couple of days to think about it. That was a month and a half ago. I have long since given up on any response and have moved on. TODAY I get an email from her asking if we can be casual friends and go out to dinner or drinks but never talk about the issues we had.
Argh! When I last contacted her, I DID really want to work things out, but after checking my email for over a month, I realized she obviously did not care about me enough to even respond. And now I am angry.I feel like I have apologized over and over (and over) but have received NO acknowledgement from her regarding her part in this! I had "shut the door", so to speak, I am happy with my life as it is. What do I say? Would you reply? I am exhausted by this!
Answer by Anna92464 at 12:49 PM on Mar. 18, 2011
Answer by Alexias30 at 1:03 PM on Mar. 18, 2011
Answer by kkbird at 1:20 PM on Mar. 18, 2011
Answer by lucky35 at 3:30 PM on Mar. 18, 2011
Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:48 PM on Mar. 18, 2011
Answer by Mz.Cookie174 at 10:04 AM on Mar. 21, 2011
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