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Mean MIL VENT!!

I just got out of the hospital, I have been in and out since Sunday trying to figure out what is going on. I am 34wks preg and they still haven't completely figured it out but I was throwing up blood and lot of other icky symptoms. Anyways, My mom was out of town and my dad works a lot, so my family wasn't there to be able to help out much. I live with my boyfriend and we share a car, so he took me and stayed with me. His mom called while I was in the hospital and I could hear her over the phone, she asked how the baby was, he said the baby was ok, and she asked him about his work schedule. He was off that day and had missed the day before and had to work today but he told her he wasn't sure if he was going to go or not depending on what they said and because they had scheduled to do an ultrasound and he is worried about me and the baby. She started yelling at him and told him I was a grown woman and could take care of myself and that if he lost his job she was going to try to take our baby! She said I needed to drive myself home, and I can't even walk! And she told him he better not get me pregnant again, we have plans to get married and we already decided to not have more kids, but if we wanted to its not her place to make that decision! He had already talked to his work and they were completely understanding and said it was ok if he couldn't make it today, which he ended up working anyways. I don't understand why she feels the need to still treat him like he is an irresponsible child. He told her that he had got me pregnant and he felt that it was his job to make sure that I was taken care of. She doesn't even care if I am sick, all she cares about is the baby. This really bothers me, I know it shouldn't but I have never done anything to this woman! I have always been nice and she has always been rude and hurtful. My boyfriend says it is because she doesn't want him to be with a girl like me. I'm not really sure what that means but I think it has to do with the fact that I already have one child and him and I aren't married yet. And that makes me even more angry because his sister is a single mom just like I was! I am tired of this woman and it's intefering with our relationship. I could go on for hours about all the mean things she has said but I will stop now lol

 
kayaiden8907

Asked by kayaiden8907 at 12:37 PM on Mar. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,262 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Sounds like you have enough stress Mama, don't let her add to it. Stay away from her, and encourage your BF to deal with her behavior or keep her away from you, which ever he thinks he can handle. Hope everything works out for you.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 1:06 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Your boyfriend needs to be the one to take care of this. If he loves you, it is unacceptable for him to allow her to bad-mouth you. I would discuss this with him and ask him to be your advocate! If he is venting to his mom about your relationship problems or even just allowing her to talk bad about you, then he is part of the problem. He needs to say, "Mom, I know Kay (is that your name?) is not necessarily the woman you would have chosen for me, but I love her and I DID choose her and I don't want to hear bad things about her. Please play nice!" Otherwise this is just the beginning of a difficult MIL relationship that will only get worse. Good luck!
    Galwaygirl26

    Answer by Galwaygirl26 at 12:43 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I am so sorry....Not much you can do if she is judging you.....Just stay away from her...and let him deal with his mom....
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 12:44 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • She probably just doesn't want him to be with any girl as controlling as she is. I'm sorry to say that it will not get better. He has to be the one to tell her to back off and even then, she might not.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:46 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • He never tells her about when we have problems because it would only make things worse and he does try to defend me but she just goes on and on. Most of the time she will say things indirectly, for example she was talking to his sister about how she thought tattoos were stupid and she knows I have one. So I know that was directed towards me, but my bf is too simple minded to catch on to those things so he doesn't know until I blow up on him about it. And his mom always thinks I am hididng something, I don't know why or what would cause her to think this, I dont have anything to hide lol! Also one time we had dinner and one of my bf's cousins were there and his mom said "When I her her talk it makes me appreciate who you are with."
    kayaiden8907

    Comment by kayaiden8907 (original poster) at 12:54 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • That is just wrong. I know exactly how that is... You just can't let it get to you. Her opinion doesn't matter, but I think eventually I'd blow up on her and tell her to shut the f*** up! lol I hope it does get better.
    Tink05215

    Answer by Tink05215 at 1:08 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • There aint Jack Shit your NOT legal MIL can do to take YOUR baby away from you. Even if the daddy dosnt have a job. Your NOT legal MIL sounds old school and older. Whats she got against you? Well....she probably thinks you trapped her precious boy with being preggo. She obviously has pre concieved notions as to how you are. She thinks your hiding something? Your probably not very open or friendly towards her so (go figure) thats where she thinks your hiding things from her. She thinks she is entitled to know everything and she just AINT! Ignore her and her hate. DONT let her drag you into an open confrontation, and if she does? Tell her to fuck off! You and the BF are adults and can and will live however you feel like. Its NONE of her business!
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 1:38 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • You two should just distance yourselves from her. She seems to have history problems.

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 3:53 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • First of all, she's not your MIL, she your boyfriends mother (that's it right now) she soon will be your child's grandmother. Anyway, so what if she doesn't like you????...you cannot make someone like you. As harsh as that may sound, the reality of it all is, she thinks she's looking out for the best interest of her child. Stay away from her and stop allowing her to have control over your emotions. You give her too much power and the more power you give to her, the more control she'll have over your lives....
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:45 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

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