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How do i stop jealousy between my girls?

I have a 11 year old step- daughter that moved in with us in December. I have 2 daughter one is 6 and the other is 14 months. The 6 year old father passed away 3 years ago. 14 month old is with her dad. my step daughters mom is in her life but not really. She gets very jealous of my 6 year old and says we do more for her than the 11 year old. My step daughter visits her mom 3 weekends a month and she dont think its fair that my 6 year old could play sports cause she cant cause of her mom. That is just one of many, i wanted to take my daughter to repierce an ear and my step daughters's mom said she couldnt get hers done, so she thinks its unfair for me to take my daughter. I just dont know if i am doing the right thing of if i am a bad step mom. Someone help me with some answers please!!

Answer Question
 
rachel1982988

Asked by rachel1982988 at 1:17 PM on Mar. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • You need to make the older one understand that younger kids DO need more attention than older ones, and just because your little one gets something you have to abide by the real mom's wishes and that doesn't mean that if she cant have it your little one cant. Life IS NOT FAIR, EVER!!!! Especially where kids and step kids are concerned. The older one needs to stop trying to controll the little ones life. YOUR the Mom.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 1:22 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • It's a shame the rules are different for each child. Did I read correctly that the 11 year old can not play sports? Get the dad involved and talk this over with the other mom. If it is explained correctly to the girls they will understand that rules are different for each of them. Your 6 year old should not give up activities because the 11 year old can not do them. I feel badly for the 11 year old.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:26 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Yes! Thank u, my husband makes me feel guilty and doesnt understand. So he is against me to and thinks i am against his daughter. my daughter asked me if she could be in gymnastics and my step daughter tells her no cause she couldnt be in soccer( all the games are on the weekends which she is not here) and says life is not fair so get over it. I feel like i have lost control over everything, wish my husband would help me out a little bit cause i am the mother of the house and over my kids and she acts like it. I dont know what to do or how to stop it!!
    rachel1982988

    Comment by rachel1982988 (original poster) at 1:30 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • elizabr, her mom is the biggest B***** that has walked on this planet, before she moved with us she was raised by her mothers mom and promised her every year that she can move in with her, that went on 4 8 years and i finally said we need to get custody of her. i get along with everyone, but of course real mom hates step mom thats how it goes i guess.
    rachel1982988

    Comment by rachel1982988 (original poster) at 1:34 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Show them both a lot of love. It's not the girl's fault she feels left out. GL!
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:53 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

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