Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Letting your baby sleep in bed with you.. or husband?

we just brought him home a few days ago..i am nursing & all my babies have always slept in bed with me. my 5 year old now sleeps in her own room & bed... my 17 month old we are working on sleeping in our room, but in her own bed....& now we have a newborn.

my question is... did co sleeping mess up you and your hubbys relationship? or does he care.. or get mad?

he has been sleeping downstairs with our 17 month old, & ive been sleeping up in our bed w/ our newborn. The 17 month old is very jealous and unsure of the baby, so we've had to keep them seperated at night (obviously the two kids, hubby and i arent going to be in a bed together)

im just curious if it is okay to keep this up a little while since the baby is so new to life, I really hate to put him in his crib.. its just a personal preference to me.. this is our last baby.. & i have loved sleeping with ALL my babies.. do you find it okay for hubby and I to put ourselves on hold and be seperated while we enjoy our little ones?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Mar. 18, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • That depends ENTIRELY on the couple involved. For us, separate beds were mandatory to PRESERVE our marriage during this period. Our son woke too often, and with a two hour one-way commute there was NO way in hell I was going to let my husband wake that much.

    Even now we will take separate beds when we need to. Marriage does NOT depend on being in the same bed.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:27 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • i guess for a few nights maybe but after that no

    Answer by diana398 at 1:26 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I would not do it. None of our babies ever slept in the bed with us. They slept in a cradle right next to my side of the bed until they were about 4 months old. Then they moved to a crib in their own rooms. Today, they are all healthy, well-adjusted adults, and if I had it to do over, I still would not have them sleeping in bed with us.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:27 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • FOR US...We have a 2yr old and a 5 1/2 month old that likes to sleep with us.
    The first 2 months of the youngest being home..I slept on the couch downstairs with the baby and dh stayed upstairs with the 2 yr old. We missed eachother too much so I came back upstairs.
    It is hard to find alone time and we both miss that alone time so much.
    Sex life is practically non exsitant but we are both on the same page..the babies come first for both of us. He's not mad about it, I'm not mad about it...we just live it,lol.
    We get extremely happy when they fall asleep in their own beds and stay there for an hour..we definitley take advantage of that time because it is so rare these days.
    Its not "messing up" our relationship but I would say yuo'd have to have a pretty strong relationship to begin with tho be able to keep it up.And to try not to forget that you love eachother and don't forget to still try to be playful with the hubby

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:33 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • If it works for you and your husband do it. It only matters how the two of you feel about it.

    Answer by elizabr at 1:28 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I'm still cosleeping my almost 2 year old because he won'tsleep alone.... annoying, just keep that in mind but if it works for you then go for it! Congrats on the new arrival!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 1:33 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • My son slept with us for the first two months until he slept through the night. I don't know how his dad felt about it... but it was definitely a good way to get him to not try to have sex - I had NO interest. ;)

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 1:43 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • We did quite often. Our reasons may have been different than most. Our son often had difficulty breathing, and later we learned it was called apnea, and all kinds of other things going on. In order for him and for us to sleep comfortably we did have our infant sleep on top of my husband who held him all night long. On better breathing days he did sleep in his crib. Actually he used both. If I had known about the attachments made for adult beds that allow children to be placed in there safety we would have ordered it. But I really didn't know about them until after he was older.  Since my child woke often from acid reflux, asthma, allergies, and apnea - from the very beginning, it was safer and healthier for him to be held upright while sleeping at an inclined angle.  I would not have called it ideal but sleeping well for us as his parents was never an option given his issues.  One of us always had him.


    Answer by frogdawg at 1:50 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I wouldn't do it. I value my intimate time with my husband - and not just sex, that can be done anywhere!, but the time that we spend cuddling, kissing, laying next to each other, etc. Our bed is a special place just for me and my husband. I have 5 kids and none of them have ever slept in our bed (unless they were sick).

    Answer by missanc at 2:02 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I have co slept with all 8 of my babies (my oldest is 19 and my youngest is 16 months) the last nine years we have slept apart. It's easier for me, the thing that has to be done is to make sure that you guys make time for each other. It's a must, you do not need to sleep in the same bed to uphold a bond, you do have to make sure a portion of your day is spent with each other.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 2:03 PM on Mar. 18, 2011