So I'm somewhat heartbroken- my SO and I have had a good relationship, it was rocky at first, but things have been better and we have pretty open communication- or so I thought...
Last night, after the tinniest of a disagreement- he unleashes this whole monologue about how I still always seem unhappy, or how I'm moody, "high maintenance" (he's never called me that before!), and that he's scared the closer we become the more I let my guard down and make him put up with shit. Oh, and he kept saying I complain a lot "still".
The reason I'm hurt is because we've had issues before- regarding me complaining (for good reason though, mind you) and I've made such a strong effort to change certain legitimate things, I go out of my way-- but it seems like it's never enough. I started crying because just the other night after we had sex we both talked about how happy we are, so to me- this was all out of nowhere!!!
Anyway, how do I respond? I wrote him a letter last night expressing myself- but he won't have time to read it until tonight, and I'm sure we'll talk when I get home from work. But I don't know what to say- I don't want to spin it on him, but I'm tired of acknowledging my faults and trying to change when I've accepted many things about him.
Also, a while ago it came out that in high school I had depression- that was seven years ago!! and after a man I loved was killed in Iraq (btw, SO thinks he was just a good friend)...and I haven't had it since, amidst an abusive relationship- being a single Mom- etc....but I feel like he tries to act like I do, I hate it.
Sorry for the novel, any advice would help- thanks!!
Asked by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Mar. 18, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 3:38 PM on Mar. 18, 2011
Answer by older at 3:34 PM on Mar. 18, 2011
Answer by MizLee at 3:42 PM on Mar. 18, 2011
Answer by kylansmommy09 at 3:30 PM on Mar. 18, 2011
Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:35 PM on Mar. 18, 2011
OK, It does sound like you may be suffering from slight depression not associated with your S/O. Remember though, he has feelings too. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in how WE feel that we can't see past our own noses from the other persons point of view. I think maybe you should see a Dr. & discuss how you are feeling in general. Once you become confident within yourself, others will gravitate to you. I would stop trying to explain how I feel, work on my issues & tell him to bear with you. But I really think you should seek help, perhaps it's an imbalance of hormones. Perhaps you need an outlet like a hobby of your own or an exercise class or yoga. Local libraries offer activities for free. "When you are happy, the whole world sings". Try not to blame your insecurities on him. If he treats you right in other ways and is a good man, then be honest with yourself.
Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:40 PM on Mar. 18, 2011
Answer by meooma at 6:37 PM on Mar. 18, 2011
Answer by debnich501960 at 10:52 PM on Mar. 18, 2011