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Would you be annoyed?

First let me say that I am a SAHM and don't get out of the house much except to run the kids to activities and appointments or to grocery shop. I don't have a lot of friends and those that I do have work full time. So I am definitely starved for adult companionship. Anyway, Kids and I had planned to go meet Hubby at work for lunch today, but we had a rough morning and didn't make it. I suggested that we meet him for Dinner instead and go hang out somewhere. His response: "Well, I don't see any need for you to leave the house now, just cook tonight". I was super pissed. Would you be? Why doesn't he understand my need to do something, anything outside of this house that is a more adult activity?


Asked by Kimedbs at 4:23 PM on Mar. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,521 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • yeah i would be pissed, he should understand that stuff comes up with kids - all he has to do is "show up" to meet you for lunch and you have to get two kids (or whatever) ready to meet him and if it was a rough morning, things do always go as planned. And now to show you how much he appreciates you and all you do he says "forget it, just make dinner"? he may as well just have added a "biatch" to the end of that sentence and really made your day complete! I agree with you - he's not being sensitive

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 4:28 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Yes. I work fulltime but i get really pissed when i want to go out for dinner and DH just wants to stay home. Of course he wants to stay home...all he has to do it sit there while I make dinner and then clean it up. Grrrrrr...

    Answer by UpSheRises at 4:26 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Yes!

    Answer by mandyandthree at 4:25 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Maybe he was annoyed that you flaked at lunch.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 4:25 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • :( They don't understand because they would probably like to be at home more. I'd be dissappointed, too.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 4:26 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I probably would be irked but not really irritated or annoyed. He doesn't live in your shoes. He doesn't feel the same need that you do- therefore it's not going to be the first thing he thinks of when something like that comes up. Just talk to him and tell him you need to get out more and you would appreciated it he would "help" you do that. Even if that help is just saying "hey let's go out tonight"

    Answer by meandrphoto at 4:28 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I would tell him that if he just wants to send home he can cook dinner.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 4:30 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I do tell him! He either doesn't get it or doesn't care because things never change. Even when he's "home" he's planning his next way out the door... to work around the farm, hunt, anything really not to be in this house (says he feels claustraphobic) which is exactly why I can't understand that he isn't more sensitive to my feelings.

    Comment by Kimedbs (original poster) at 4:32 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Have you told him how you feel? You could make a list of the things he does to get out of the house, then make a list of things you do. How many of his things are pleasure and how many are working? How many of your things are pleasure and how many working? Driving the kids to soccer practice is working, not pleasure. Going to the store is working, not pleasure. Go over the list with him. Pick a couple nights or days a month to have him watch the kids while you go shopping or have lunch with friends. Marriage is a partnership, not a one-sided pleasure trip. He can help watch the kids. You need space, too. If you don't get it, you just may explode at some point.

    Answer by Kimimale at 4:56 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I would be aggravated, but I would also explain why.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 5:08 PM on Mar. 18, 2011