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Does he have a right to be mad? Am I overprotective or do I have a right to...

not want to send my kids just anywhere for a weekend. My children are 3 and 1 1/2. There are only a few people in my family whom I trust to watch my children. I feel I have good reason for my worries, but he doesn't think so. He says it's not normal for me to not want to let someone babysit my kids. I trust only a few people to watch them bc there ARE valid reasons not to trust the others. His mother is aggressive and used to abuse him as a child, so I do not trust her. My brothers are all drug addicts, so I do not trust them. My older sister is not a good housekeeper (dangerous things laying around all over the place like pills, cleaners, knives), so they are only aloud to stay there without me when the house is cleaned up. He thinks I am overprotective and this is causing tension bc he wants us to have a weekend away from the kids. (I told him it's just not that easy when you have young children, so now he is accusing me of being too overpossesive and protective.) Am I? Or is he just frustrated and taking it out on me?

 
Kword

Asked by Kword at 8:21 PM on Mar. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 27 (29,610 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Absolutely not if the things you said are really true about those people then NO way they are watching my kids especially that young. He is way out of line at even suggesting you should leave your children with those people. That being said you do need time alone and really need to find someone you can trust to watch them.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 8:26 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Oh and it wasn't until my kids were 3 and 5 that they spent the night with anyone else and they are now almost 6 and 4 and have never spent the whole weekend away from us.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 8:27 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • nope, you are fine, I dont let my kids go anywhere
    shivasgirl

    Answer by shivasgirl at 8:25 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Oh, you are my kindred spirit. I will not leave my kids with anyone but my mom or my sisters . . . . and not even my sisters if they have too much going on. Mine are just about the age of yours.

    My husband used to get on me about that and still says stuff like, "Oh, there's a new girl in my office who could babysit." No way, man. NO WAY!

    I see it as my job to protect them. So, I will be with them as much as I possibly can . . . and, no loosey goosey's are allowed anywhere close to my kids.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 8:28 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • i dont trust alot of people either. my kids are 4 and 2 and they have only stayed with a few people. in nevada they stayed with a neighbor and that was only because the bf was there and he knew cpr. (dd had health issues from birth) now ds is 4 and he has stayed over nite at only 2 places my aunt and hubbys parents because they know how to handle his inhaler meds. dd has stayed at my aunts and thats it. ur not being overprotective u wont to make sure that ur kids are protected.
    knagsmom

    Answer by knagsmom at 8:28 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • you can't take a chance with your kids...you might be able to bond with a babysitter through a nanny service that you would eventually come to trust for a weekend but not the people closest to you. I had the same issue with my SIL, she didn't have kids and the house was always a dangerous place for my kids to be.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 8:35 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Your children are very young and you should look out for their best interest. Protect them.

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 8:43 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Wow. You're not being overprotective at all! You have valid reasons for not letting certain people watch them; it's not like you're being paranoid. I've only let my grandparents and sister watch my daughter continuously...one friend stayed with my daughter for an hour in the morning while I took my Grandma to work, and I let my other friend watch her a few days last week...but never again. She yells at her kid way too much, and I have no idea how she talks to mine when I'm not there. You can never be too careful! Give him the shock treatment...show him stories and videos of babysitting gone bad, and see if he changes his tune!
    JustCantWait88

    Answer by JustCantWait88 at 8:56 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Would you consider having them over to your house??? Your husband is right about needing time alone... You need to allow for time between just you and him, however you have to trust your instincts. A nice compromise would be great that way you are showing him you trust his judgement as well, after all he is the father... I have three children and i was very overprotective of my children when they were younger and i pushed everyone away (not meaning too) now my kids are 15, 13 and 10 and never can find anyone to watch them... (other than friends on their schedules) In fact, my husband gma told me over christmas time, we would have more family support and help if we wouldnt have always had the attitude of doing it "all by ourselves" That wasnt my intention, but looking back i wished i would have made a few more compromises thats all!! Good luck....
    solmenkoo3

    Answer by solmenkoo3 at 11:24 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • You have to follow your instinct, you are the mother, and you know what is best. I know without a doubt I am over protective but I would much rather be safe then sorry when it comes to my child. Regardless of how anyone feels about what you think what matters is that you feel 100% comfortable with who your children are with, if not don't take that chance.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 8:01 AM on Mar. 19, 2011