Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

How young is too young to tell your children about sex?

My 8 year old asked me if he could have a girlfriend at 9. I told him no. I’ve been talking to my children about sex for 2 years, because I know if I don’t then they will hear it from their friends. I don’t beat around the bush. You will be responsible for any actions that occur behind you practicing sex. I am a Christian, so I express to them sex is a symbol of love and a gift from God to those who are married. Yeah I know “RED FLAG”! I stick to my beliefs, and teach and direct them to do the same. I need them to know and understand the consequences if they don’t.

Answer Question
 
ladynell4god

Asked by ladynell4god at 8:34 PM on Mar. 18, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 10 (477 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I try to keep it age appropriate. If questions get asked, I'm willing to answer them. I have boys, and the actual sex convo hasn't come up with my 9 year old yet. Not quite at the point the mechanics are necessary. I'm planning on teaching my kids about safe sex, but I'm not going to assume they're going to abstain til they're adults and/or married.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 8:39 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • it depends on the child, really. some comprehend the mechanics/physical consequences earlier than others..and i don't think most comprehend the emotional consequences of 'plain sex' (without love/committment/etc) until ...into their young adult years, or until they get burned.
    my almost-6yo knows basic mechanics, but is too young to understand 'waiting for The One'. its not a concept that has entered his mind, and i don't expect it to for sometime.
    what's important, IMO, is making sure they understand how things happen, and how to prevent them/other from happening, before they are old enough to take care of business. i do plan on equipping my ds with as much knowledge/protection as possible..that way, i can be sure i did all i could to prevent unwanted pregnancies/stds. i can't be with him 24/7 'at that time of life', so i hope and pray he uses his knowledge and his brain, if he uses his 'head'. JMHO.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 8:44 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • My little sister has a "boyfriend"; she's 9. I think that's too young, but...sadly, I'm not her mother (as much as I'd like to be). My husband and I said we'd start telling the kids (we have 1 daughter together, and he has 1 with his -crazy- ex) when they're between 10-12, or when they get their period...whichever comes first.
    JustCantWait88

    Answer by JustCantWait88 at 8:51 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Just keep it where they can understand it (age appropriate) and have faith that what you are saying will stick.

    Good luck!!
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 8:51 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • When I was 9 I already had a BF. and had even started messing around with guys!
    Its very hard to say what conversation when. but start early.. and i thinkin simply letting your child know its something you want them to wait on (any of it..) is a good start.. Kids can start with stuff early (like me) and parents are clueless! We want/ think better of our sweet innocent kids.. Really-when i think back I remember feeling like the last virgin of people my age AND I WAS 11!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Start with boundaries...At a young age knowing those places are off limits to others may help. Always answer questions openly, honestly.. Make sure nothing is ever off limits & you try your best to keep conversations comfortable. so they always feel like they can come to you.
    I know friends that had great relationships with their parents & even would talk to them about stuff like that before hand. So these kids grew up with their parents whispering in their ear & I think this helped them alot-- No it didnt keep them a virgin til marriage, but they where not sleeping around. or took it lightly...
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 10:57 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • This should be an ongoing converation with kids from an early age. I have always told my kids that sex is a way of sharing your love when you are in a serious and committed relationship. All of my kids know about safe sex, the physical and emotional plusses and minusses and they also know that they can come to me with any questions or issues that they have. Now that being said, I'm not perfect and my oldest was a teen mom, but all we can do is try our best.
    MommaKath1975

    Answer by MommaKath1975 at 6:55 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • There is no "too young" but, it should be age appropriate & accurate. As long as you are telling your kids the results & reality of having sex pregnancy & disease & that both can be prevented in multiple ways, I don't see a problem.

    The more informed a child is about sex & thier bodies the more difficult it is for a sexual predator to use thier ignorance against them.
    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 11:43 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I don't think they are EVER too young... You start teaching about boundaries, about love and that sex produces children and get into what ever "mechanics" they can understand at a level they can get... I mean you can do boys and girls are diff by like age 2 or before (they can easily see the diff) and you need a boy and a girl to have a baby. Girls are the ones that get pregnant and nurse... those are all concepts they can grasp and can see in the world around them and you build on it as needed.
    I don't see it as a "talk" I see it as a continuing conversation/lesson that is discussed whenever its appropiate at whatever level they can get.

    And when you get your period is WAAAaaaaaay to late.. the foundations need to start from a VERY young age. (just like most things)
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 12:02 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • According to the media, children are having sex at 9-10 y.o. now. The best time to talk to them is before it becomes a problem. Don't want to be too late for that one...am I right?
    GothicChk52

    Answer by GothicChk52 at 10:39 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN