Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Soooo the reason I DON'T wake my husband up at night for feedings or when I need to sleep. What are YOUR thoughts???

Saturday night I stayed up all night with our little boy, then we went to church the next day. He took me home early and made me go to bed and watched our little man. He got very upset when he found out I had stayed up all night and didn't wake him up to watch the baby. Well..... about an hour ago I hear my son BAWLING and I run back to the room to see what's going on and my husband is fast asleep holding him and his little head is snapped back. I was sooo pissed. I socked him in the knee cap until he woke up and he didn't even realize what was going on.. Would you be pissed? How should I handle this in the morning when I talk to him. I don't want to be mean or yell at him..... I mean I already socked him in the knee.....

 
MarlyeGirl

Asked by MarlyeGirl at 2:55 AM on Nov. 25, 2008 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I think you need to understand that he is never going to do things exactly like you and if you do not start letting him help now he is never going to want to help. I had to let my husband take care of the kids and my feeling were that as long as they were all alive and doing well then it was good day.

    I would talk to him and tell him what your fears are. He is the daddy and if he wants to help then you should let him. If you do not then at some point you may come to resent him because when your child is older you may want the help and he won't be there.

    I remember on time I was so tired I feel asleep with my son on me. I forgot he was there and when I rolled over I dropped him on the floor. He cried a lot, but he was not really hurt. Kids are much more resilient then we think.

    just my opinion. Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:18 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I would just say that it is perfectly okay for him to come and get help from you if he needs with the baby. If he finds himself too tired to do it, tag you in. I can understand how he fell asleep and perhaps they were in a different position when they fell asleep and they just adjusted and he lost support of the head. It could happen to anyone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I would be pissed too! How can you trust him to watch him if he can't stay up to watch him. You can't expect men to be maternal I guess. You're just gonna have to loose a lot more sleep.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 3:02 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • Aaaw at least give him kuddos for trying to help. Most men won't help or aren't even around. So, count your blessing dear. It could happen to anyone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I would be made too! My husband is NO good if he doesn't get enough sleep. He can fall asleep in the middle of a messy living room, with the tv on, and the baby crying. Even if I am exhausted, I can't fall asleep unless everything is in order. Drives me nuts! Its not because he is a bad man or lazy. He just doesn't handle being sleepy very well.

    I got stuck working the graveyard a couple times and fell asleep in the middle of the day. I woke up AN HOUR later!! My 16 month old daughter had been playing by herself. I felt really bad. Can you imagine what could have happened! Most likely your husband will feel bad too. When you talk to him, let him know he needs to come get you if he feels like he can't stay awake. Your understandably mad but I think this is just a learning experience for you and DH.
    jcsscfam5

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 3:12 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • Well at least he's trying to help. Not trying to compare our situations, but my SO works nights, and is asleep most of the day. So I'm alone every night, and pretty much most of the day. Back when my son was an infant I would have been thrilled if my SO had at least offered to give him a bottle, let alone rock him to sleep.
    OOHPFG

    Answer by OOHPFG at 3:32 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • Daddies get tired.. not as maternal as mom's. Not letting him off of the hook here -- just saying be calm about it and say you know it's important to me that we work as a team and I appreciate what you are doing but i'm a nervous nelly and I can't really rest if I'm not feeling comfortable. You know how to word it best. ;-) As your baby grows you will find Dad's do things DIFFERENTLY, not always worse, and not always better (laugh). So long as it's not an ENORMOUS safety concern, TRY to take some time for yourself and appreciate the help you are getting, while communicating your needs -- wow this was long and I'm tired so I hope it makes sense.
    KnoxvilleDoula

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 3:36 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I'm VERY thankful that he wants to help. I can only think of the many times my heart aches for the women that are on here asking what to do about husbands that WON'T or don't want to help out. I'm just upset that he lectured me about this and then had a big oops!
    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 3:51 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • IDK if men are wired that way or what...my husband volunteers to take the baby downstairs while I get sleep (even thoughhe has to work at 5am!) and I'm glad but I still go down and check ont hem...because my husband, bless his heart will rock Bryson to sleep and then HE will fall asleep and I get afraid that the baby will jerk awake and fall out of his arms...
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 4:37 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • i would be upset only becuase he could have dropped the baby or something...

    thats great he wants to help so much, but he cant fall asleep while holding the baby, he/she could get hurt
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 5:29 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN