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4 Bumps

9 y.o. peeping tom adult content

my son is always peeping under the door late at night. he knows stuff is going on. he has even popped the lock on the door and walked in on an intimate moment. how do i handle this with him. he also refused to kiss me good night once because he said i know where your mouth was. i def dont want him tramuatized by sexual intimacy but i think he may be more intrigued by it by his once accident of walking in.. any suggestions of how to handle this situation

Answer Question
 
bethany0199

Asked by bethany0199 at 10:09 PM on Mar. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (294 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • discuss it with him...and let him know about boundaries... and then set some firms ones! :-)
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 10:31 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • time for the talk lol. but seroiusly talk to him about it.. then put a towel under the door to prevent more peeping
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:05 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • mummyyour son is extremely creepy and he needs some intense counseling. we were all 9 years olds at one point but i doubt any normal kid would go out of their way to pop the lock of his parent's room or peep under the door. he is a weirdo plain and simple. it would be very bad if he does not drop this habit. he needs counseling asap!!!!

    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 11:28 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Well you need to tell him that walking in your room when the door is closed is off limits and he needs to go away until you come out. You can't stop him from listening at the door but if he ever comes in again he needs to be delt with firmly and grounded he knows what he is doing but doesn't have respect for you .
    get a lock that slides across your door so when your in your room with your husband he can't come in but if he listenens oh well what can you do and he isn't tramatised he is being nosey.....
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 11:38 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • First of all, I would sit him down (with hubby there) and make sure that he knows that what happens between a husband and wife is a wonderful, loving thing. Tell him that you and his father need privacy when expressing love in that way.Reinforce that it's not dirty, its just something that is private. Answer any questions that he may have at that moment.... if you demystify it, he won't be as curious. That should help with him not being traumatized by sexual intimacy.
    As for the peeking, it should lessen or stop after you explain what's happening behind the closed door....but if it doesn't, and especially if he continues to insult you the way he did, you should get firm with him...VERY firm. If it were me, I would get really stern and tell him that if he won't give others privacy when they expect it, then HE won't have privacy anymore either. Continued.....
    brandyj

    Answer by brandyj at 12:24 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • Continued...
    Take the door off of his bedroom, and stand in the doorway when he goes to the bathroom. When he complains about not having privacy, explain to him that this is how you feel, knowing you can't even have privacy in your own bedroom, or when you're doing private things. Let him know that he can have the door back to his room, and his privacy in the restroom, when he stops spying on you and his father and respects your privacy. This should get through to him. If not, then you have a bigger problem on your hands.
    brandyj

    Answer by brandyj at 12:29 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • Several years ago, one of my cousins had a similar experience with her boy. She was taking a shower with her husband, her 14 year old boy unlocked the bedroom door, unlocked the bathroom to pop in to tell his mom "hey mom, Auntie Olivia was on the phone". She and her husband were mortified, and I was laughing my axs off on the other line. I was calling for something like what time they are coming over, I didn't know the boy was going to such trouble to obtain such information. The boy is not creepy at all. He's a good kid, social, gets good grades, helps around the house, etc. Now he's starting at a Ivy League school in the fall. I think they are just curious about s.e.x. at that age. I don't have any advise, but just to let you know you are not alone.
    Olivia4116

    Answer by Olivia4116 at 2:02 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • gwen20, that is not very nice!
    your son is just curious, a good healthy sex talk should help with his curiosity. i really like what brandyj suggested. good advice there. i no help here but i am glad this came up as i have a son (3 months now, but he will grow up) and it is good to know. GL
    Arretsmomma5

    Answer by Arretsmomma5 at 4:37 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I am totally with Brandyj said!  And at 20 it might be creepy but hello he's 9!  My question is, could he have learned about sex from somewhere else beforehand?  Saying "i know where your mouth has been" is something I would jokingly say to another adult.  It just makes me wonder where he would hear that in a negative way.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 4:45 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • thank u all 4 the advice..very helpful. i like the door thing and interfering with his privacy because he is very close guarded about that stuff with himself. we also put a blanket there and thats curved it but now he wants to know y. as 4 that one reply about him being creepy...lmao..i think u may need the psychotherapy. now if he is doing that at 12 13 etc etc yes it will be consideredtil then.. we will have a "talk" and set firm rules 4 now


    again thank u all
    bethany0199

    Comment by bethany0199 (original poster) at 1:44 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

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