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2 Bumps

He's depressed...

My boyfriend's been really depressed and withdrawn lately and I don't know what to do. He's been working at a home and garden chain for 3 years and basically he gets treated like crap by the employees and the customers on a regular basis and I think it's really getting to him. His dad has Lymphoma which my boyfriend is ten-thousand percent sure is going to kill him, and he keeps going on about how he "doesn't know his great-grandfather's name," and "he's part of the reason I'm here," etc. etc...then he goes on about death and how it scares him and it's actually really worrying me. He's talking about how all of his old friends are gone..Oh! He got snubbed by this guy he was in a band with a couple years ago today and that just spiraled him...the guy's a douche! IMO not really something to concern yourself with, but he just can't seem to let things go or take anything at face value and basically because he can't save the world by himself he feels like he's shit. On top of all this, he thinks the only way to make money is to step on people and stop caring about anything. He's hardheaded, I know, but I love him dearly. Things that made him ecstatic are now just completely blah and he refuses to see a Dr. or even if he did take medication..

I'm just fucking concerned as hell about this...

Answer Question

Asked by gabrielle_x at 11:37 PM on Mar. 18, 2011 in Health

Level 13 (957 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I don't know how you and your boyfriend work, but I know that some guys use us girls to vent. When they go through a hard time, they're taught to "suck it up." I can only tell you what I do for my husband. So here goes...when he gets mad or depressed or whatever...I sit quietly and listen to everything he tells me; attentively. If it's bad, I say, "That sucks, babe, I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Is there anything I can do?" and with my looks I show him that it bothers me to see him upset....even if I want to say more I don't go into detail. Too much detail only winds them up. Be quiet, be patient, and really listen to what he wants you to do, if anything. If he is going to be hard-headed you shrug it off and just try to be a leaning post for him. If he's telling you what he's feeling then there's trust there. Just listen to him, try to do what he requests, and hug and kiss him often to show you care. It helps.

    Answer by AJFerriss75 at 11:51 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • I already do all of that, even when he's not depressed..

    I'm going over tomorrow morning with a nice freshly cooked breakfast, hopefully it'll get his day off to a right start, but idno..

    We vent to each other a lot about outside problems, but this one is getting really intense and I'm ridiculously worried...seriously..he's always seemed really happy...

    Comment by gabrielle_x (original poster) at 11:53 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • maybe you guys could do something new and fun together. maybe if he had a new hobby to get excited about, a new circle of friends, such as joining some sort of club or group, then he would feel good about something. like something that he could build at, and get better that that would raise his self esteem and he would be surroundd with new people. not exactly sure what it could be but maybe a biking group or rock climbing or a church group or something like that.

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 11:55 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Church is a little out of the question, but music is where his heart is, it's just with his work/schedule it's difficult for him to even feel like picking up a gitbox..which he's amazing at by the way..just saying ;).

    Maybe....but idk..he's doesn't WANT to do anything.

    Comment by gabrielle_x (original poster) at 11:56 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Does he drink? Do u know what Lymphoma is? (don't get me wrong on that please) But the things u describe sounds like he has an addiction, and what my FIL sounds like when he has a "few"

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 11:59 PM on Mar. 18, 2011

  • Excuse me? No. He doesn't drink. Yes I know what LYMPHOMA is. His dad has LYMPHOMA. He's concerned that HIS FATHER is going to die from HIS FATHERS Lymphoma.

    Don't think I made that clear enough.

    Comment by gabrielle_x (original poster) at 12:01 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • What type of lymphoma does your b/f dad have? Hodgkin’s Lymphoma or Non-hodgkin’s Lymphoma??

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:03 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I knew that question wouldn't come out right.......I didn't mean any offense, please forgive me

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:05 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I THINK NH, but don't quote me. He's been dealing, once in was almost in remission level then came back suddenly, now his dad's BACK on Chemo for I think the 3rd time...

    Comment by gabrielle_x (original poster) at 12:06 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • Well I know of another treatment people have had and it worked out pretty good, its the stem cell transplant. Althoough some med insurance won't pay for that.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:17 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

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