Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what do you think?

My boyfriend and i have been together now for two Thanksgivings. He is staying at his parents and i am going to my parents with my daughter. Should we be spending the holiday together at both places by now?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:18 AM on Nov. 25, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Thta's up to you and your families. Do both sets of parents welcome both of you?

    Answer by Bmat at 8:20 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • If you are living together you should be spending the holidays together.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 8:20 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • that's a personal decision, are you happy with the way it is? if so, who cares what others think.

    Answer by Julia0331 at 8:24 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • you'll have plenty of holidays together if this is the way you choose to spend this one then thats your decision . if this is something that bothers you then i would sit down with him and work out a time schedule that all of you can spend a fair amount of time at both places

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:34 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • My now hubby and I did that for years..(15 to be exact before we got married..high school sweethearts..long story). really isn't a matter of whether or not you should or shouldn't be doing it by now. The real question is...have you been introduced to his parents yet? Do you live with your BF?

    In the end, it is very difficult to attend both dinners..the better solution is to host the dinner yourself and invite everyone over. But that assumes you both have met each other's parents...alot of unknowns here. I personally did not enjoy many Thanksgiving dinners because we would attend his mom's, then 2 hours later attend my parents. They had to coordinate between them, and it really became utterly ridiculous after awhile.

    Answer by happymom612 at 8:47 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • If I was in your shoes, I would be wondering why you are not spending the holidays together in both places if possible.

    Answer by Dannee at 8:57 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I believe that these kinds of questions ought to be asked in the very beginnings of the marital partner search. Whether or not a person is willing to rotate holidays, share decisions that involve others, and how he generally relates to the entire family is key to the success of any marriage. Since you have skipped that step and some others, you are now in a position of having to accept his decisions. You have absolutely no power to change him nor to make him want to change. About the only option you have is to choose to enjoy your holiday with your family. The saddest thing to me is that your child will not get to spend the day with both her parents.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:56 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • we go to both but this yr my mom and brother are coming with us to my mils house.

    Answer by melody77 at 11:28 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • you deffenatry should! eather get the 2 families together or have dinner here and desert there, next year the other way around:)

    Answer by Albi1623 at 12:07 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I can't imagine being without one of the people I am most grateful for on Thanksgiving, although I do understand logistics and familes... I am not looking forward to my all day scampering to be with hubby's family over an hour away then my family, including parents I haven't talked to in months... Just do what you really want and/or what you need to do. I know... no help at all...

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:02 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.