Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Okay i too wanted to ask a question on disciplining your child

I have 2 boys ages 4& 2.They drive me crazY.A lot of times I have been in that situation where i too just want a hug or someone to understand why we lose it at times.My kids have take bites at me in public or tried swinging at me, yelled at me that they are not going to live w/me anymore they are going to live w/gma.Yes in public.How do you discipline kids when they act like that? I love my kids& show them and tell them everyday& i still have my kids misbehave like this.At times i tell them the just wait till we get home, but sometimes nothing works.Any advice?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:16 AM on Mar. 19, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I spanked mine.  I would definitely spank mine if they were acting like that period, not just in public.  My kids are 5, 4, and 18 months.  Being consistent with spanking seriously has gotten us to the point of not needing to use it anymore.  They don't do anything anymore that I believe is severe enough to get a spanking for.  I did find something else though.  My 3 year old (girl) responds A LOT better to gentle discussion then she ever did to spanking.  My son, the 5 year old, is made to get into his bed.  He hates taking time outs on his bed so I've found that works awesomely too.  What do your children absolutely hate?  Corners?  Beds?  Before I started spanking, I couldn't have put my 5 year old in his bed, he wouldn't have stayed there. 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 3:22 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I have 2 boys. We tend to do time outs for everything except things that can cause harm to them or others. If they do something such as hitting, etc, then they get a spanking. I have friends that don't believe in using their hands for punishment as those are meant to show love to your child in pats on the back, hugs, etc so they carry a wooden spoon in their purses. As soon as their child sees the spoon, they straighten up. I know that if my 3 yo swings at me, I grab his wrist & tell him as calmly as I can that we do not hit ppl no matter who they are. I try to ignore public outbursts or meltdowns best I can since giving them tons of attn can make it worse :(
    bethany49

    Answer by bethany49 at 3:27 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I have a five yo and a 2 yo.

    The 2 yo is not fully able to reason, so I feel like my discipline is somewhat limited. I try to tell him what I expect of him before we go anywhere. If he misbehaves, he gets one warning. If he doesn't heed that warning and misbehaves again, we leave.


    My five yo has been able to reason since 4, so that has made things easier. I use the "leaving method" that I use with the 2yo. I also use time outs. If I want him to do something, I also use a positive reinforcement method that I call the "star system." He earns stars for good choices and he can use those stars to buy toys. For example, a hot wheels car might cost 7 stars. A thomas train might cost 20 stars. I really like the star system because it reinforces effort, counting and economic principles.

    Your kids are at difficult ages. It will get better.

    Good luck.
    ARgal

    Answer by ARgal at 7:03 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • And one more thing, you might want to try to identify what "sets them off" when they have a meltdown. For example, some children have what seems to be magnified senses. They tend to get overwhelmed when they are in crowds or in noisy situations. They are unable to process all of the information assaulting their senses and they lash out in frustratioin.

    If you notice that this may be the case with your children, raise the issue with your pediatrician and ask him to refer your children to an occupational therapist for an evaluation.
    ARgal

    Answer by ARgal at 7:07 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • Parenting is a work in progress. I wish there were some absolute sure to work answers on how to do things right. I just keep trying different things. I would not allow children to hurt me; discipline for that is swift.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 7:12 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I would spank them for swinging at you. It shouldn't be your only method but I believe it should be in the toolbox.
    Iamasinglemom99

    Answer by Iamasinglemom99 at 8:41 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • If you are in public be prepared to leave especially if you are doing something your 4 yo wants to do. The 4 yo is old enough to be reasoned with, if he hits I would hold both hands and calmly but sternly look in him in the eye and say "No Sir! You WILL NOT hit me" Same with the 2 yo he can understand that ... right now his brother is teaching him how to treat you, You need to get serious. Only go places with them you are prepared to leave. When he realizes he can't get you going or you wont give in, he will learn to control that behavior.

    They can do it, you can do it ...my 2 oldest are 18 months apart and ADHD

    Just a tip: dont take them out tired or hungry, you are just asking for trouble
    pammomof9

    Answer by pammomof9 at 9:20 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • OMG, everyone is saying "spank them" but for heaven's sake, don't you ladies know that kids learn what they live? They learn by example. They see you smack, they smack. You yell at them, they yell at you. You want well-behaved kids, treat them with respect!!!!

    I have 6 kids. The youngest is 2. A lot of times they act out is they need your attention. Give it to them.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 9:25 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • Although many people would say that spanking is child abuse, I completely agree with spanking. I believe that children want and need discipline and if you don't do it when they are actually misbehaving they won't stop the behavior. I work with children as a school counselor. I have worked with children ages 8-20 in the intermediate, middle, and high school setting. Most of my students who had parents that allowed them to act out and not be punished or when they were punished hours after they misbehaved told me that they lost respect for their parents because they allowed this to happen. Don't be afraid to discipline your children and if someone wants to say something about it, make it known that you would rather discipline them now than to have the justice system and society pay to discipline them later in life. Be firm and consistent with them and continue to love on them as well. But get the behaviors in check. Good luck!
    Crimsonpope31

    Answer by Crimsonpope31 at 9:50 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • Spanking is not child abuse, but it's not teaching them appropriate behaviour, it's teaching them to react with violence when angry or annoyed. It's completely counter-productive. Use your brain. When your kids act out, consider WHY they are behaving that way. No-one ever does anything without motive and your child's motives are not "to annoy mommy". They are "I want something", even if it's only attention. Kids are needy little creatures and you can't expect them to be "good" unless those needs are met.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 10:31 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN