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How do I fight my ex for custody of my kids?

Basically i've had them alone for the last 15 mths, we don't have a custody agreement yet. He came and took them and now says he is filing for custody. How do I fight him? He's never really been there for them. He's seen them one time for 3 days in the last 15 mths. Right now he has them. But he works from 1 pm to 10 pm. and his parents have them the rest of the time. When I had them when I worked they were in daycare and had playgroups. I hardly went out with my friends while he games with his every weekend. He did for three years while were together. He gamed all the time and complained when I wanted to go out and needed him to stay with the kids. Any help is welcome.

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Asked by pbryan18 at 9:34 AM on Nov. 25, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)

  • Call the police if there is no agreement! There is no way in hell I would let him take my kids and nothing! Do it now!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • Luckily you have gender on your side. He can't legally keep you from seeing them either. Make sure you have it documented that he's only seen them for three days and that he wasn't helping you financially. Make sure he really is filing and not just threatening you. If he hasn't then you should. Good luck.

    Answer by sbastille at 9:38 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I have called the cops and they told me without an agreement they can't do anything cuz he has the right to them. I hate that they said that. I have documentation and a friend willing to testify to the lack of involvement while we were in japan and how much time he spent gaming. Plus this person was around a lot to help me when he wouldn't. This friend would babysit and watch them when i needed to go to the er cuz my ex wouldn't.

    Answer by pbryan18 at 9:47 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • Get there birth certificates and pick them up from his parents' while he is at work. The only way you can't take them is if he there with them. Then go to probate court and get emergency custody of them. You just have to put the paperwork in and they will grant it then you just have to get an attorney and go to custody court in 30 days.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:47 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • If you both are legally married to each other then this could go on and on until someone gets custody. His parents are probably pushing this though.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:49 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • Unfortunately the police won't step in and help you until there is a custody agreement in place. Right now there is nothing stopping you from going over to their grandparents house and taking the kids. You need to take them back then file an emergency hearing.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 10:44 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • No custody agreement means that you can go to his parents house and pick them up and there is nothing they can do to stop you. If they won't let you take them the cops have to help you, because his parents have no legal right to keep your kids. Also go file for custody, do not wait to get the papers saying he already did.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 11:13 AM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • You are going to have to go through the court process before you can go anything unless you can PROVE the children are in danger. I frankly get really mad at women who think the dad has no right to their children. And as for the poster who said you have gender on your side....think again. Women aren't any better parents than men and thankfully the court system is opening their eyes to that. Why don't you just try to reach an agreement with him that you and he could meet together with the kids and be civil to one another...come're adults.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • Per the last anonymous answer, I do not think I am a better parent than him. I have just been more involved and I didn't appreciate being blind sided by him taking them from my parents. As per the gender thing, I don't women are better than men. Its just the way things went for a long time. But my children are 5 and 4 and for their entire lives he hasn't been all that involved. Didn't go to doctors with us, go to playgrounds, anything. He was more interested in his friends. That's why I am fighting for my kids. I've tried working out an agreement.

    Answer by pbryan18 at 2:26 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

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