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4 Bumps

How to deal with not being able to see or talk to my 3 yr old?

My daughters father is a nasty cruel person. He has visitations and NEVER shows up but yesterday he decideds to pick her up from school (on a vistiation day) without my knowledge. CAn you imagine how I felt when I walk into the school to get her and they told me she is not there.This was a shock because he is never around and never picks her up. I didnt know where my daughter was until 9pm last night! and she is 3. He took her without clothers, underwear, medication or food. On top of that he is mentally unstable. Well he refuses to let me speak to my daughter. I called the police to check on here and they brought her to the lobby of his apartment to let me see her. If it wasnt for that I wouldnt see or hear her until sunday. THis breaks my heart that he is trying to hurt me like this. I can sleep and eat. I cant sleep comfortably not knowing how she is sleeping. I cant eat knowing that she wont eat.

I have called cops, cps, lawyers went to court no one is on my side with the exception of one officer.

my other post on this for background

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:25 AM on Mar. 19, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • Call your childs school, or even go in. Explain to them that he is NOT, under any circumstances, Allowed to ever pick her up from school!! That is the worst feeling in the entire world, not knowing where your child is. Especially at 3 years old! That's a big no-no.

    Remove him from her emergency card and make it known in the office, this child is not to leave school with ANYONE but her MOTHER! Period.

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 9:29 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • document everything ~ you may need it later. In the meantime, use this time for yourself. Do your nails, spend some time with friends, commune with nature - whatever it is you don't usually take the time to do. Put your daughter in God's hands and find some peace of mind for yourself if you can.

    Answer by tortkey at 9:31 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • WHAT!!!!!!!

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 9:38 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • @TORTKEY.... I cant dont that...I am on edge not knowing whats going on.

    @kylansmommy09...exactly..Its insane.everyone but the courts see he is unfit and unstable.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:42 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I dont understand why anyone gave athomemommy a thumbs down

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:43 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • regardless of his visitation rights, you can still have the control over who picks your daughter up from school. do let them know nobody is allowed to pick her up but YOU. was he even on the list of approved people to pick her up anyway? if not, i would be reaming her school a new ass. im so sorry you're going through this. i cant even imagine. my oldest doesn't know her bio-dad, and he can legally ask to see her whenever he wants but he never does. i would be going out of my mind if he came and picked her up from school one day, because i know she would be confused and scared also not knowing who the hell this guy is. at her daycare i wrote his name down of people NOT to release her to for safety reasons.

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:47 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I will tell you, that IF there is a Court Order, and his visitation begins at the recess of school, you CAN'T disallow him to pick her up from school. So check your Court Order for the exact wording pertaining to his visitation. I'd see about getting a modification of the Court Order to state that he MUST give no less than 48 hours notice of his intent to exercise visitation. If you've been documenting when he has and hasn't taken his visitation, this should be easy to get.

    PM me--We deal with custody issues all the time, and I'd be happy to get you on the right track to preventing this from happening again. There's a LOT of informatin I can share, but there's not enough room here on this answers board.

    Answer by laird6372 at 10:29 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I would be throwing a fit at the school! Is he one her list of pickups? If not that is so illegal what they did.

    Now to your dd's father. If this is his visitation weekend as stated by court order, he is legally allowed to have her. However, if on the day he is supposed to return her he does not, you go to the police station with your court order and they will come with you to get her.

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 11:01 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • thanks for all the answers but I cant breathe not being able to at least speak to her for 3 days!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:19 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • If there is a court order saying that he has visitation on certain days you can't take him off her pickup card, no matter what he is her father. All her has to do is take them the court order and they will release her. I understand it is hard but, the court decided that her could have visits and you can't stop that or her could end up with more. And before you say, I don't understand my ex had weekend visits with our son, I didn't take it to court because there was no reason for it. I hated it but, he eventually took off and my husband adopted him. Hopefully, he will take good care of her and stay in her life. Good luck!

    Answer by matthewscandi at 12:10 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

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