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How do I discipline my daughter without putting my hands on her?

I have tried everything. My daughter doesn't appreciate the things that I work and buy for her. Example: today this new comforter set I just bought for her, she cut with her kiddie scissors. I am a single parent, I DO NOT put my hands on my child, and she is the only child. I have tried taking things away from her, no snack after school, no project time, no tv, no WII, etc...But every so often my daughter will do something that makes me think she doesn't care about the things I get for her. Besides what I have tried, is there anything else? And suggestions, anything us Moms have tried with their 5-soon to be 6 year old? HHHHEEEEELLLLPPPPP...

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Giasmommy1979

Asked by Giasmommy1979 at 10:34 AM on Mar. 19, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • It sounds to me like you have over indulged her, if she gets everything she wants there is no reason to be appreciative. Explain to her how hard it is for you to work to get her nice things.........and say no once in a while..........
    older

    Answer by older at 10:40 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • how often do you buy her stuff? I wouldn't buy her anything new for awhile (unless she needs it) and when she wants something i would tell that she is not getting anything until you learn to take care of your things and tell her about her blanket for example. Thats what i would do.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 10:42 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • For something like that, I would take away ALL her toys, and NO priveleges. She can have her things back one at a time, when I feel she can treat things with respect. If she does something like that again, we start all over.
    Kimimale

    Answer by Kimimale at 10:43 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I think I would start making her appreciate the things she has by earning them. I would make her do chores to earn either really money or a type of "coupon"....
    I would make her buy her own toys then so that she sees the value in them, earn snacks, earn TV time and Wii time (I would try a spool of tickets, you can get them at party supply shops) 1 ticket per chore... picking up her clothes, making her bed, doing her home work... things like that.... I would make a max of like 5 tickets/day if she does everything you ask. And then 1 ticket for a snack, 1 for 30 mins of TV or Wii time. Down the road she can cash in like 20 tickets for $5 if she saves them up to buy new toys.
    AND you could also make her pay for damages if you want... like when she cut her new blanket

    I think she will quickly see the value in things if they aren't just given to her
    AmiJanell

    Answer by AmiJanell at 10:46 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • Don't throw the comforter away; leave it on her bed to remind her of her actions.

    Stop buying anything new for her and start her on a weekly allowance. She is to use this allowance for the things she "wants," not the things she needs.

    You are not paying your child to do household chores--those need to be done without any incentive of money or bribery. You are giving her the allowance to encourage her to save up for much wanted items, like a new comforter to replace the one that she just cut with her kiddie scissors.
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 11:11 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • five is still a bit young to understand the value of money. But when my daughter was little she decided to color in one of her books so I had her pick out 3 books that she liked and I made her give them to the children whoes mommys and daddys didnt have enough money to buy them books. I explained that she has these nice things but many people only have enough money for a little bit of food and not all the nice things. If she is going to treat the things so poorly then someone who will love those things should have them. She is 16 now and has a pretty good perspective on charity and keeping things nice... however... she still cant seem to keep the things nice and off the floor... ugh... still working on that!!!!! teenagers!!!
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 11:17 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • btw... the key to ALL PARENTING is consistency. They NEED to know that what you say is law and you WILL enforce it.  I now have two teenagers and they are really pretty good kids.  They KNOW that if I say something will happen it will.  They have learned over the years that my word is law.


    It will make EVERY thing easier.... so dont make idol threats... simply follow through.


     


    with that said, since the kids are so good we have allowed them to present a well thought out argument IF given respectfully... and we have reversed our decisions... but not until they were older.

    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 11:19 AM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I agree with the PPs. Make her accountable for her actions
    Ashlynnsmommy07

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 2:43 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • Make her accountable. Stop buying her things. If she needs stuff (clothes, bed sheets, etc.) go to a thrift or consignment store where you aren't going to spend a ton of money on one or two items. If you spend a lot of money, you're getting a LOT of stuff. No more brand new or brand name stuff for her.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 12:16 AM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • On top of that, WHY does she have scissors?! Even if they're kiddie scissors, she shouldn't be able to have access to them.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 12:16 AM on Mar. 20, 2011

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