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4 Bumps

Do Bilogical Mothers/ Ex-wives get better or worse after the NEW wife gets pregnant?

I have 2 wonderful stepchildren. my husbands x wife is not a nice person, ( for lack of better words), and has made our lives difficult. She has told my Stepkids that if I were to have a baby I would not need them anymore, ( which of course is not true),  and I am concerned that she might get worse or will she back off ? I am seeking advice from anyone.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:14 PM on Mar. 19, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (28)
  • bm?
    mamawilbur

    Answer by mamawilbur at 6:16 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • baby momma??? maybe??? i would assume worse over jealousy
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 6:17 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • she means biomom and I dont see there would be any difference. If you got along before you still will, if you didnt, you still wont.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:18 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • oh lol ty
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 6:19 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I dont care about her and I NOT getting along or GETTING along, I am concerned for the children... that is the root of my question. Thank You !
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:21 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • Well if she doesnt care about your relationship for the sake of the kids before, she wont after either.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:29 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • Let me be clear about my question since it is difficult to comprehend.... I am concerned that she will tell the children bad things such as , me not loving them anymore, or telling them things like their brother/sister is not related to them. AS a mother, is this something you found yourself doing in the process of attempting to hurt the stepmother? I am honest advice so that I can prepare myself on what to expect so that I can protect the kids. I am NOT talking about my relationship with her because we do not have one and never will.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:31 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • "I am concerned for the children..." amen to that!

    hopefully she'll grow up a little. Best thing you can do is love the children and tell them that all the time! Do all you can to show those kids how much you love them.
    maybe if you got the kids books about new arrivals in families. Maybe that will help.

    Hopefully Bio mom can get over herself for the sake of the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • Thank you, I hadnt thought about that. I really want them to feel the baby is a new addition to "our family" because My baby will be my first biological child, but my stepchildren are my first children and I love them as if i gave birth to them. I know im not their mom and Im not trying to be, but I would like to protect them in a positive manner and not the bickering back and forth. Thank you for your advice.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:42 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I perfectly understood what you were asking and no she is not going to care based on what you have said. As a BM myself nothing changed at all when the OW had a baby with my ex husband. They just had a new baby, that was it. My son did have questions about having a new sister because they did not tell him until the baby was born, but thats another story. They were not married & she had been his mistress so to me she could have been run over by a car and would never have shed a tear, but I never bad mouthed my ex or said he didnt love his son, or because he had a new baby he wouldnt love him as much etc. It really though I think is all individual. The OW actually ended up doing what you fear in your post when I had a new baby with my husband. So I think its up to the person.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:42 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

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