Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

6 Bumps

Step daughter blames us for her being a lousy parent.

She is 22 and has a 1 year old daughter.

She has decided to not give up partying, and goes out atleast 2 times a week ( actually 2 times a week is a slow week to her) ....

I also have a 23 year old bio. daughter who has 2 children and lives an ideal family life ( married, owns a home and does family activites, instead of going bar hopping ) ...

So step daughter constantly puts the blame on my husband and I , and my other daughter on why she isnt a good mother.... She constantly insults my other daughter saying that if she didnt have a husband she would be just like her ( which isnt true because she would still put her children first - it isnt her husband keeping her from partying, it is her morals) ....

She also uses the excuse that my husband and I love our grandaughter and so she is just giving us time with her ( she is with me pretty much 24/7 ... so that is a load of bull ) ...

BUT the worst excuse is..... WE RAISED HER THIS WAY ....yeah, that is right, she said that her being a bad mom is our fault because that is how we raised her...( which should mean our other children would be this way too then right) ...

I am just so tired of her attitude !!! What would you do ?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Mar. 19, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (10)
  • Get custody of her child and kick her out for being disrespectful. I didn't do that to my mother and my children will not treat me like that.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 6:37 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • I agree with matthewscandi, that girl is going to give her baby LOTS of issues if she stays in the current situation.

    Yes, you love your grandchild, but you have already RAISED your children. One of the privileges of being a grandparent is saying: Nope, I'm not babysitting tonight, I have plans (even if you don't). Your step daughter needs a swift kick in the pants to get her head out of her fifth point of contact and actually RAISE her own child.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 6:50 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • either get custody or hand that child back!

    regardless of how she was raised, she has the chance to be different. my parents abused me. am i abusing my son? hell no. my foster sister? her mom died and her uncle- who took her in, beat her with whips, chains, until she BLED! then she was forced to clean up her own blood (had HIV through her mom). she has scars ALL OVER HER BODY b/c of that jackass! and does she do the same with her kids? hell no! we went through hell (her especially) for our kids to benefit. we might not be the best parents, but from our past, we learned what NOT to do. Your SD needs a kick in her ass!
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 6:52 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • sometimes you have to ask yourself if its worth rocking the boat
    this girl clearly cant take the blame for her behavour and need someone to blame . but she prob take the kid and use her as a wepon if you fight back .
    feralkitten

    Answer by feralkitten at 7:01 PM on Mar. 19, 2011

  • DO YOU WATCH TEEN MOM ON MTV ?? ALTHOUGH I HATE JENELLE'S MOTHER AND I THINK SHE'S AS LOONEY AS THEY COME WITH HER CONTROLING ASS I WOULD SAY GET CUSTODY UNTIL SHE GET'S HER SHIT STRAIGHT !
    MOMMIE227

    Answer by MOMMIE227 at 11:04 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I agree with the others, try to get custody of her child or try to get to the real root of her problems...maybe some therapy?
    GomezMami2908

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 12:06 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • I agree with the others try to get custody and try to help her realize that it isn't all about partying and the such and until she grows up she won't be seeing her child
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 1:19 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • sounds like someone needs a reality check and a kick in the butt. Quit watching your grandkid for her and let her know that her attitude is what's causing her misfortunes, not YOU.
    ShainaMay

    Answer by ShainaMay at 9:31 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

  • I would let her have it! My sister and I were raised the same way but came out totally different. She likes beingaway from her kids while I like being with mine. Its the indivisual not the raising I believe! Stick to your guns and odn't let her get away with murder!
    Baby4us09

    Answer by Baby4us09 at 12:41 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • No she is trying to cover her own guilt for being a losy mother, she made a consious choice to party and put her child second its not your fault but she needs to blame someone.
    You and Hubby need to stop enableing her and make her take care of her own child and if social services is called maybe that will wake her up and if not the court will contact nearest relative to take the child then i wouldn't let her see the child until she was ready to calm down and take responsibility. Your other daughter just has morals and this daughter is very jealous of her because she is married and has a great life...all this stems from jealousy and envy...
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 5:34 PM on Apr. 2, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN