I need some advice. My husbands cousin. Who we are close with. Who I went to High school with and have many mutual friends with dated this girl for 7 years. We grew close with her the whole family, I included. They have recently broke up, and for good I think. She has secretly in private been dating another fellow, and he is very openly been dating another girl. He finds nothing wrong with delivering the news of a new girlfriend just 2 months after them breaking up Via Facebook with kissing photos.. you know very PDA. This irritates me as his main reason for breaking up was that his anxiety was getting so bad. This is a guy who couldn't even have a drink because of his anxiety. This is a guy who never took his girlfriend of 7 years out to dinner or anywhere because he had such tremendous anxiety. This has been an excuse he has given for while now. One of the reason he states is why he dropped out of school to begin with.
I think that after dating someone for 7 years, she saw my husband and I get married and have a child and we were together for less than 3 years. I think she felt like come ON I need you to make a commitment. She thought "I kind of think we need to make the next step in our lives but we can't because you can't keep a job".... you still live in your Mothers basement kind of deal. Which has been a long standing joke amongst the family that he has a tendency to not keep a job, sleep all day and hang out in the " cave" so to speak which he refers to as well. I think he felt this pressure and needed to get away and find another person who didn't put so much on his shoulders.
I recently voiced to her my feelings on his moving on with another girl, and how it upsets me that we won't be seeing her as much anymore. That it hurts to see him with someone else, but that I know that it isn't my business 'but that I can't help but be angry at him for moving on and being so showing about it. I told her we have many awesome memories that we will always have and hope we may always remain like family and close friends. It has to be said that we spent a great deal of time with Him and her. It truly is a hard thing for me to see him kissing another girl. Going out having drinks with her, wining and dinning this other person.. anyways.. I said to her I think that this is great she has found someone and is moving on. I am happy that she is happy. She is welcome in our home anytime. I also made the comment " look on the better side you won't have to raise your family in your in laws basement" ...
So seeing my husbands cousin yesterday, we didn't really speak, but his father, my husbands uncle and I were sitting talking about how not having her and him together anymore sucks. He told me he knew what I had said about him living in his parents basement forever.. Which were not really my exact words, but whatever close enough..
I thought to myself. I stuck up for her?!?! Did she really go tell him I said that?? I guess the lesson is " If you don't have anything nice to say than don't say it at all." I just feel bad he knows I said that. Most of all really hurt that I have put myself out there my feeling and she twists things.
my question is: How should I go about addressing this with her? Should I speak with her and how she used my words I said in anger to get even with him? should I just confront her and tell her how I feel?.. Or should I let it be?
Asked by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Mar. 20, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:59 AM on Mar. 20, 2011
Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 12:24 PM on Mar. 20, 2011
Answer by Austinsmom35 at 1:14 PM on Mar. 20, 2011
Answer by ItsMe89 at 3:14 PM on Mar. 20, 2011
Answer by xochitle at 4:34 PM on Mar. 20, 2011
Answer by Arretsmomma5 at 1:40 AM on Mar. 21, 2011