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How do you deal with tantrums with a 21month old?

I was just curious my DS is 21months and he is usually a really happy well behaved toddler but lately i have noticed like when we go out to public places such as reasturants or the zoo or even the grocery store he will throw a fit cause he doesnt want to have to sit still in his high chair, or he doesnt want to sit in the basket. Me and DH have been trying to allow him to do more walking with us and he usually does very good, but then there are points where he gets fed up holding mommy and daddys hands and he trys to just run wild. So thats when we give him the warning he is going to go in the stroller or basket if he cant behave and hold mama or daddys hand. And if he still doesnt coperate then we put him in the stroller and he will start throwing a big fit crying and trying to wiggle out. How would you deal with this situation? Last week we had to leave the zoo early because he was being this way and i dont want to have to worry about a melt down every time were in public. Any advice would be great! Thanks!

 
katie11908

Asked by katie11908 at 11:54 AM on Mar. 20, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (8)
  • You are doing the right thing... your little one is just trying to figure our the boundaries of his new found abilities. Keep reinforcing proper behavior and the same consequences each time- and it will sink in. Sometimes you have to sacrifice and leave early- but this is a great way for him to learn cause and effect of his action. Misbehaving = no fun.

    Sometimes it is hard, I know- we've done this with all three of our kids. It gets tiring and old- but they do get it. :-)
    HistoryMamaX3

    Answer by HistoryMamaX3 at 8:56 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • when he throws a tanturm at home what do you do? the reason i ask is because you might disapline different at home than you do in public so he might think that at least in public he can pretty much get away with it. you need to do the same as what you do at home and it may only need to happen once or twice and he will understand that the rules dont change just because your out in public.
    laura970

    Answer by laura970 at 12:29 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • Ok I'm very old school and I beleive in spanking. If you have tried to warn him and he still throws a fit then either you or your husband need to spank his hand put him in the basket and if he still persists to act oct take him to the restroom and spank his bottom and tell him if he doesn't behave then he will get another swat and after awhile when you start to take him to the restroom he will stop.
    It will take time but you both have to take control before he starts running things.
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 12:32 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • When my children were small and they threw a tantrum then I would just ignore them. If we were in public we would go to the car or go home. Something else I have done is to throw one back. Sometimes when a child sees how stupid it looks then they dont want to do it anymore. I also would use a similar tactic when they were whining. I would tell them to go to their room and when they could talk in a grownup voice I would listen. I told them I could not hear or understand whining.
    Something else to remember is to ask is there a reason behind the tantrum. At 21 months children become frustrated because they know what they want to say or what they need but have not learned all the communication skills to let you know. So sometimes a tantrum is out of frustration. This does not mean to condone it. It just may provide a reason for it.
    berryhappy1971

    Answer by berryhappy1971 at 1:08 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I have tried time out and scolding him at home but he just thinks im funny no matter how serious or stern i am...

    katie11908

    Comment by katie11908 (original poster) at 12:31 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I have tried spanking his bottom and his hand and he either reacts one of two ways either he thinks im funny or he just crys more...

    katie11908

    Comment by katie11908 (original poster) at 12:34 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I send mind to calm down in her room with tantrums at home. When we are out in public we go into the bathroom and she gets a pop. It could be from either of us and it has the same effect.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 1:00 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • My DS is 5. Over the years I've had to leave zoo's, parks, malls, restaurants, all due to tantrums. And looking back 9/10 times it was because I forced him to go go go all day not considering naps, and he was exhausted and grouchy. Just this pass summer at 4 we had to leave a zoo. We were on vacation, had been on the move for several days in a row, lots of walking, and a 3 hour time change that there wasn't much time to adjust for. The day we were at the zoo he had finally had enough and he lost it. I carried my screaming 4 year old all the way to the car, and then about 5 feet from it he passed out and slept for 6 hours! Then woke up, ate dinner, and went right back to bed. Obviously, I had pushed him way past his limits. I suggest staying firm, continue to give 1 warning and then place him in the stroller. If he can calm down then let the fun activity continue, but if he can't then it's time to leave. Just part of parenting.
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 10:12 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

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