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What do i do my 10yr son does not do anything i ask without a fight?

He has certain daily chores to do. Make his bed brush his teeth, make his lunch every night. Do his homework ya know basic things. He always leaves stuff out and when i question him i get nothing but attitude. He has visitation with his father four days a week for a couple hours, but when he is there he has no stucture. I am made out to be the mean one. When he comes home it is nothing but attitude and we have to start all over.. Talking to his father is useless. I am tired and don't know what to do!

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Asked by pah984 at 12:37 PM on Mar. 20, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Start taking away privileges. No tv, games, outside until you have taken away all that is important. He will eventually listen or he will have lost everything. I wish you luck.

    Answer by coala at 12:44 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I have taken away everything and he still acts like he could careless..

    Comment by pah984 (original poster) at 12:47 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • If it was my 10 y.o he wouldn't be getting ANYTHING. No video games, no sports, no toys, NO TV. No playing outside, no friends. You really have to lay the law down with kids and STICK to the consequences if they dont do their part.

    Answer by vbruno at 12:57 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • If he doesn't want to do what he is supposed to do and you have already taken away all his privliges send off for brochures and information for military schools and such and conviently leave them laying out where he can see them. I'm not saying actually send him away but give him something to think about. If he thinks that your to that point he might straighten up.

    Answer by singlemominUSN at 2:38 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • If you decide to engage in fighing with him then he will be the one in control of your home. Don't fight with him. Sit him down and tell him the "If/Then Statement". "If you do __________ Then the result is going to be _____________" The stick to it. Consistence is the key here, no matter how hard it seems. If your son has learned that up until how he can end up doing what he wants by fighting, then that is what he is going to continue to try and do. I know it sounds hard and most moms don't really want to do the hard things to parent their kids nowadays, but empty his room of all his stuff and make him earn it all back a piece at a time with proper behaviour. If you are having such a time right now at this age with him, if you don't nip this in the bud firmly now he is only going to be harder to control when he is an older teen. If he won't listen now he won't listen later, either.

    Answer by azhlynne at 2:52 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • Boys are tough as heck to raise, especially alone. My son "WAS" the exact same way, but after a few episodes of me letting him know I'm Chief, and he's the Indian, I got control of him.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 1:11 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • TAking things away does not solve the issues unless you put consequences with the issues. For example, its a battle to get your kid to do his chores, right, well taking away his electronics will not make him do his chores nor will he know why he has this type of responsibility in the first place. Talking, communicating with your child is the beginning to it all. You talk with your child and get an understanding between the two of you on what's expected of him to do. As far as the no structure in his dad's home, just make sure you provide the structure and loving environment. I understand that you don't want to be made out as the bad guy but you also don't want to become your child's friend and he lacks the respect that he should have for you. BEing the "parent" of a child, does not mean that you have to be made out to be the bad guy. Your son has rules & responsibilities while in your home because its whats best for him.

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:58 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

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