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Bio Parents posting pictures on FB? UPDATED...

My husband and I are in the process of adopting a child through out of state foster care. We have been generous with bio parents emailing pictures and updates. Our adoption is scheduled to be finalized in June, so right now we are not allowed to post pictures online. But, now I have found the bio parents have posted all of the pictures we have emailed them on FB! They did not ask permission, and I have emailed them asking to remove them, that we do not want our childrens pictured posting online, I have not received a response from them...

This is not the first issue we have had with bio family, and we do NOT have any legal agreement on the openness of the adoption...

This is a rant, but I'm also interested in others point of view on this issue, I know it's been posted before, but I was unable to find old posts. Thank you!

UPDATE.... Here's the deal... their parental rights were terminated almost a year ago... our child spent her first 4 years in a hospital due to medical issues, child was ready to be released from the hospital 2 years ago, her bio family had 2 years to get training to take the child home, they did not. They lived 30 min away from the hospital the child lived in and only visited 15 times in 4 years, each visit lasting about an hour!!!

 
TiffyTaffy79

Asked by TiffyTaffy79 at 1:50 PM on Mar. 20, 2011 in Adoption

Level 14 (1,783 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I would continue to send updates but through social services if possible. Those updates would no longer include pictures. If the case worker was open to this....a photogoes to her case file and the worker has the ability to show the parent without copies being made. So once a year or once every six monthsthey know where to go to get picture updates. But it would also, for me, depend how pictures on fb were presented. If it was in no way posing a threat then I may let it go. If you think it violates privacy for your child and your family - you stop sending photo updates. Perhaps in time the biological family will eventually comply with your requests. If the children are in state custody perhaps the case worker can make a legal request to have the pictures removed.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:20 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I am an adoptee and I would probably not be happy if the parents I was removed from were posting pictures of me online without MY permission. Depending on my age at the time I might have different feelings. But just having your pictures out there online for anyone to discover and then possibly being in a situation where you have to expalin the whole situation to just anyone is a lot for a child to have to deal with. I would tell them to stop posting the pictures online.
    confused969

    Answer by confused969 at 2:36 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I'd be upset as well. You can always contact fb and let them know they do not have permission to use those photos- that might help. Good luck on the adoption!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 2:40 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I can see why that would bother you. Obviously the child is better off with you. If it was due to abuse, then you are being generous. That makes more sense. :)
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 3:09 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I wouold definately be upset too. Good Luck with the adoption. I would stop sending picture if they could not respect your wishes.
    jmgblair10

    Answer by jmgblair10 at 1:53 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I know several birth parents who do that. It's their way of sharing how the child that their entire family is wondering about, is doing. They are still proud of the child they brought in this world. Until they are no longer the parents they can do so. If you don't want an open adoption you need to be upfront ahead of time and look for a closed adoption beforehand. It's not fair to shut them out now just because they posted some pictures of their child on FB. They are grieving, no matter what you think of them.

    I'm not trying to sound harsh. I'm just being straight here. When this child is old enough to ask questions and want to know where they came from, you will be asked. So I would suggest whatever you choose to do, make sure it reflects positivley on the childs future.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:59 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I can definitely understand why you would be upset. Your situation is unique, since your child was taken from them for her own good, and their parental rights have been terminated. In my case, we have open adoptions with women who placed voluntarily (well, one would have lost him to CPS if she hadn't). I am okay with pics being posted, but again, this is nothing like your case.

    Do they even have their security settings on FB so that only their friends can see the pics, or are they accessible to the whole world? I really like the suggestions made by Frogdawg and Lovingmy4babies. I hope they will respect your wishes on this.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 10:54 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • Here's the deal... their parental rights were terminated almost a year ago... our child spent her first 4 years in a hospital due to medical issues, child was ready to be released from the hospital 2 years ago, her bio family had 2 years to get training to take the child home, they did not. They lived 30 min away from the hospital the child lived in and only visited 15 times in 4 years, each visit lasting about an hour!!!
    TiffyTaffy79

    Comment by TiffyTaffy79 (original poster) at 2:39 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • Since their rights were terminated do they even get a say in the adoption period? Could they back out?  I'm sorry, I know nothing about adoption but this has me curious.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 3:05 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • MrsHouston47302- No, they get no say in the adoption and they can NOT back out. They went before a Judge with DCF and signed their right away, Caseworker has said it is iron clad.

    UPDATE: After a few attempts at contacting the bio parents, they have since removed the pictures. Thank you all for your responses!
    TiffyTaffy79

    Comment by TiffyTaffy79 (original poster) at 9:50 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

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