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Why does it suck when Daddy's around?

When it's me and my kid, we're fine. He's a cool 2 1/2 yr old, he listens well, throws the occassional tantrum but I ride them out and he's smiling a minute later. When the three of us are home, however, he fights everything. He wants nothing to do with me, he fights his dad on everything, he won't get ready to go places or behave in public or at home, equally, and he throws tantrums and cries and misbehaves constantly. His father and I have a great relationship, neither one of us are lousy parents (although I do joke that I'm the ultimate bad mom, we really are great parents to that kid.)

Does anyone find themselves wishing Dad would just go do something and get out of the house so the baby would settle? Is this a normal toddler thing?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Mar. 20, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (8)
  • My son gets upset a lot easier when my DH is around. I'm not quite sure why though.

    Answer by amberdawnbarr at 5:45 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • It is totally that way around here. It gets better when the kids turn 4 . . . then, they just want to be good for Daddy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:54 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • Sounds similar to our house, but I don't think it's really Daddy being home. Our schedule is different, we do different things, so he doesn't know exactly what to expect - and many toddlers thrive on consistency. I don't think there really is an answer, except that you and your husband can plan out the night before what you are going to do the next day and make sure he at least has meals, naps, bath, etc. at the same time as usual. My husband's spontaneous nature is one of the things i fell in love with, so it's not something I want to change, but it will take some time for our toddler to learn to accept it. And Daddy's way more fun than Mom!

    Answer by missanc at 6:13 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • My girls do the same thing with me and their father. Their father more striat and I am more laid back. I think kids tend to do better if with a stress free parent. Things go smoother when just me and then girls and they know what I like and what they can do and with their dad not around all the time do to work they do not have a plan or schudule for the day and kids like to plan things out ahead of time.

    Answer by momindiana at 6:42 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • Our daughter is a daddy's girl so when my hubby is around I don't really matter and what I say is always debated with her. When it is just Muffin and me, we get along well and are always on time to daycare and work and have great times...Daddy comes home and let the headache with her begin. She is a spoiled brat around my husband. lol

    Answer by MrsJStearns at 9:44 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • if he's not used to him being around, I would start trying to plan bonding time with just the two of them. He could just not be comfortable around his father because his father hasn't had the same bonding time with him as you have. I think creating that may fix the problem.

    Answer by LoveMyPoliceMan at 9:46 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • My six kids ALL went through stages of being difficult (then easier) with Daddy around. I totally understand what you're going through and I think it's normal. Just try to ride it out. *hugs*

    Answer by judimary at 9:48 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • We call it the rule of 3 in our house. Our child acts out more when there are three people and gets worse as the group gets bigger. Yes, I find alone time with my son much easier to swallow. I can't explain what the issue is but it is a common thing.

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 10:57 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

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