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should i allow it?

my daughter just turned 18 & her boyfriend is 19. i allow him to stay the night but he has to sleep on the couch. we have arguments about him sleeping in her room with her. i just dont want to have sex which she has already told me they do. my oldest daughter who is 23 tells me i should let them. she says just because they sleep in the same room doesnt mean they are having sex. and she also brings up the fact that my 18 yr. old goes to her boyfriends house unsupervised and i allow it. i just dont want her to get pregnant & i dont want to lose my babygirl. what should i do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Nov. 25, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (36)
  • No Way! You are the adult. As long as they are under your roof, put your foot down. She has no rights while living under your roof and you are supporting her. My daughter actually moved out over this. But, I stood my ground. It does not go on under my roof. My daughter is now 25, has two kids of her own and thanks me for standing my ground. You will regret it if you don't.
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 2:18 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I wouldn't allow it, your home your rules if they don't like it they know where the door is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I would tell them that your rules are your rules! My parents did not allow me to have a guy in my room at all if I lived under there roof! Now that I am a mother myself I agree! Good Luck!
    jem102675

    Answer by jem102675 at 2:19 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • If you dont want her to get pregnant, then have a talk with her. She should know (ALREADY!) how to use protection and it should be because you told her. if you didnt by now, then its about time.
    Other than that, she is 18, if she wants to have sex then she will, no matter what you say. If not at your house, then somewhere else.

    as mean as it sounds, but she is not your babygirl anymore. she is a young woman now. I know that must be hard. my little girl is only 16months old, but i can already imagine how you must feel. but if you dont allow her this and that then you will def. lose her.

    have some trust in her and the parenting you did until today.

    good luck
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 2:20 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I also agree, they are both old enough that if they don't like it, then go somewhere else. It's your house, your rules!
    Sue41

    Answer by Sue41 at 2:21 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I don't really think it's a matter of their age, or sex it's a matter of her respecting your space. She's an adult now, legally at least lol, and living under your roof she needs to respect your boundaries. I moved back in with my parents after my divorce and I never even brought a date back to their house, let alone expect him to spend the night there out of respect for my parents feelings. If she wants to go elsewhere with him and have sex that's fine, but to flaunt her love life in your face is just rude.
    Slinkee

    Answer by Slinkee at 2:21 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • WOOOOOW.. im shocked my pupmoms answer. She said "She has no rights while living under your roof " ... what kind of crap is that?! you need some serious help woman!

    thats why those young kids end up pregnant, because their parents were to stubborn and stupid to teach them how to use protection. Sex is fun and not something bad. i wonder how you got your kids. probably not through kissing!

    get a life women (all of you) and give your kids a little freedom...
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 2:23 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I don't know why he is sleeping over in the first place. Doesn't he have a place to live(sleep).I wouldn't even let him stay over at all.. I'm like this, if they are having sex other places. That's none of my business. But in my house NO WAY it's going to happen. Stick to your guns on this.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:26 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • I agree that sex is fun and nothing to be ashamed of, but it is also a PRIVATE matter.
    Slinkee

    Answer by Slinkee at 2:27 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • They can have freedom. To do anything they want,. But not in my house. My house my rules
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:31 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

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