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3 Bumps

How to react

my soon to be step-daughter tells me she dont like me and then tells her dad when im not even around she doesnt like me and then he point black tells me that she dont like me. i can handle hearing it from her because i put my foot down but when he says it it tears my heart out :( how do i react without being rude? help im in tears.

 
goobersmom713

Asked by goobersmom713 at 6:38 PM on Mar. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (6,321 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Well tell him if he or his daughter can't say something nice then don't say anything at all. That just rude for him to say that to you.
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 6:45 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • That is unfortunate and unfortunately a lot of kids don't like their "new" parents... ):
    jessiskinner200

    Answer by jessiskinner200 at 6:46 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • If it were me I'd have to have a "sit down" and find out why she dislikes you so bad! I don't know her age, if she's a teen or what but if you reprimanding her chances are she's not gonna like that coming from a step mom! Hopefully you two can come to some kind of agreement and be on good terms, I'm sure she's"testing the waters" with you so, keep in mind this may be kinda hard on her too. Change isn't always so easy!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 6:50 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • That is really sad, But most step parents go through this. My ss was three when I started taking care of him. I had a two year old from a previos relationship. My ss told me all the time that he wanted me n my dd to move out. He always told my dd that he hated her too. It did break my heart, but over time I did earn my ss respect and now ten years later he loves me and my dd. Just stick it in there. Sometimes kids just don't understand what they are saying. One day she will tell you that she loves you and then your heart will melt becouse that will be more true then the I hat you that your getting now.
    Kimberly71682

    Answer by Kimberly71682 at 7:05 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • I would be more concerned about what your SO tells her when she says this. I certainly hope its something like "OK, you aren't going to like everyone you meet in life, but you DO need to treat her with respect. In addition, as she is an adult in this house, you DO need to listen to her. If you don't, then you will have to accept the consequences"

    I can be hard being a SM. I know, I've been there, but it can work out.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:08 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • she is 3 and i can handle it wen she says it but it tears my heart out that he has to remind me of it
    goobersmom713

    Comment by goobersmom713 (original poster) at 7:55 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • he shouldnt say that to you. if he wants a healthy family he needs to be positive and supportive to you. just by his reaction alone, i would reconsider marrying him...
    Arretsmomma5

    Answer by Arretsmomma5 at 9:56 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • kimberly is right. i just read it. if he can stop being a butthead to you then i would say tough the lil girl out. she is only three and is probably wondering why her mommy isnt there with her daddy. when she gets older she will love you too.
    Arretsmomma5

    Answer by Arretsmomma5 at 9:59 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • Tell him to grow up and talk about it with you like an adult. Discuss why she says she doesn't like you and see if you can both come to a resolution together. He's not helping the situation here doing what he's doing.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 2:29 PM on Mar. 21, 2011

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