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3 Bumps

Now it's time to sit and cry.

This weekend I found out my husband was on the verge of cheating on me. Technically he did. He was talking to another female about how much he missed her, they were sending nude pics to each other, and were talking about when they were going to get together next. As I found this out, my MIL and FIL pulled in the drive to visit (I found all of this due to telling my inlaws how to get to my house). I put my feelings behind me to have a good weekend with the inlaws. Now my husband has gone back to school for a week (where he met this girl, promises he will not contact her, but who knows) and my inlaws have headed back home. Now that everyone has left and it is just me and my girls, all of my hurt feeling rushed in at once. I am crying and can't stop. On top of everything, I also found out my husband is leaving in three weeks and has to go to afganistan for a year. I guess I am just venting, but I was hoping for some cheering up from you wonderful mamas. I have no one else to talk to about this.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Mar. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • ((((HUGS))) I am sorry momma .
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:57 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • This seems horrible. Have you confronted him about what you found out? If that happened to me my house would be world war III... I'm praying for you hun.
    jessiskinner200

    Answer by jessiskinner200 at 6:59 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • You don't deserve this at all. He had no right to send those pictures or talk about cheating on you, but on a positive note, nothing physical had happened yet. He got an easy break thanks to his parents coming home to visit and you being mature enough to not involve anyone else. I would talk to some other women who have pending deployments coming up on how to deal with THOSE emotions. This site should help with that www.deardeploymentihateyou.com and as far as his infidelity, I would take a while to simply figure out exactly how you feel about it, why it hurts, etc. and THEN talk to him about it.
    LoveMyPoliceMan

    Answer by LoveMyPoliceMan at 7:00 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • You have EVERY right to feel the way you feel. It wouldn't be normal if you weren't upset about this. I'm so sorry to hear this. Don't buy in to his bull shit. You know damn well he's gonna talk to her. So you show how valuable you are, and make plans to move on. It's hard in the beginning, but in the long run you'll be so glad you did. Life is too short to live it like that. HUGSSSS!
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 7:00 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • Thank u guys. This will be the fourth deployment in 5 years of us being together.I am pregnant, he will not be home for the birth. We also have 2 little girls which he was able to be home for their births, but I will be alone. I am not sure how to repond to everything.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:04 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • Hey hon I am sorry you are going through all this just know that you are not along. I am going through something slightly similar except I know that the woman my husband cheated on me with almost 2 years ago is in love with my husband and I am wondering if he has been cheating on me again. So I feel your pain. It's tough I know. I am so emotionally and mentally drained the last few days that all I feel like doing is crying. My MIL has been asking what's wrong to try and help and it's hard for me to explain. This whole thing is mostly the issue but there are other things going on with me that I am stressed about and stuff. Try to keep your chin up and remember that our children need us and love us! We have to be strong for them. ; )
    Bamzakarat

    Answer by Bamzakarat at 7:08 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • It shows us you are a person with great strength from what you've said. You have it in you to get through the next few months/year if you WANT to. It will give him time to rethink everything while he's in Afghanistan. Hopefully it'll give him perspective. You should go with your gut on this. Ask the tough questions like do you love him, can you try to get through this, do you have a place to go if not? I have a friend that has patched her marriage after her husband cheated. It can be done but both parties need to be willing. It's okay to cry and be furious. Really get to thinking about what you want to do and tell him he'll lose everything if he proceeds with this bs. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • Hey hun! I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I would talk to hubby and let him know how you are feeling. You have the right to be upset, angry, and hurt. Take some time to focus on you and your children. You have a little one developing in you and you have to hold it together in preparation for the birth of your precious one. Know that you are supported and that it will take time to build yourself back up. Be encouraged and if you ever need to talk, send me a private message!! (((hugs)))
    MrsJStearns

    Answer by MrsJStearns at 9:25 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • **hugs!!!*** thats a lot to being going through and on top of that you are pregnant! hang in there girl, you are not alone!!
    Arretsmomma5

    Answer by Arretsmomma5 at 9:42 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • oh dear. I don't know what to say, there;s not much time to fix it before he leaves. *hugs*
    jonellg

    Answer by jonellg at 1:37 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

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